Bridging the Gap
We had to sell the house. I dreaded going back there. I didn’t want to deal with it.
I could quickly see that although he lived there, he wasn’t going to deal with it either. I didn’t have a lawyer or anyone in my back pocket for that matter. I had to research hard for everything as money was tight. I had to figure out professionals and trades to get the process moving and the house ready for sale. It was so exhausting. I had to trust people I never met before and meet them at a house I didn’t want to be at. I felt like I was losing my mind. Trying to do all of this with a mountain of anxiety took time away from spending with my child and a business that was trying to grow.” This was my reality.
When couples go through separation and divorce there is so much to think about, so much to do, so many emotional variables that are pulling us in different directions. Sometimes it is hard to stay focused on it all.
A realtor is one of many professionals that will offer help during this process. When people choose a realtor during a divorce situation the realtor is sometimes the first person to know of this major shift. They may often know before family members, friends and even lawyers. This is because a house is literally the biggest physical symbol that glues a couple and family together, it holds the sense of home.
“What are we going to do with the house?” is the first question people will usually ask. Then, “We should talk to a realtor”. There are a lot of great realtors out there, but can they help you find, coordinate, and share relationships with preferred professionals and trades? Selling a home is a lot of work on the best days. Navigating it while the sellers are not speaking to each other takes more understanding of the unique situation. Does the realtor have experience selling homes during divorce, do they know the steps? If a couple has decided to sell before seeing a lawyer or mediator, does the realtor have access to or a relationship with someone that could help? These are very good questions to ask when interviewing realtors. Having guided access to institutional professionals as well various trades can free up a lot of time to focus on daily living. Time is a valuable commodity when going through divorce and having a realtor that will bridge that gap is very important.
When my ex-husband and I made the decision to divorce it felt chaotic. My husband said it was his house, so, with a two-year-old in tow, it was off to my parents’ house. Trying to start a new career as a realtor with zero money was extremely difficult. The house deal finally closed. I never went back there again. My ex-husband and his mother packed the house up. Since there was no one present to advocate on my behalf, I lost a great deal of mementos. I really didn’t care. A professional to help declutter and pack would have helped.
As my career progressed, I saw this same scenario play out in varying degrees. The stories are all unique, but the feelings are familiar. People need time and space to prepare for this huge transition. Researching professionals’ and trades takes away from all of that.
People say to me “We are separating and the only thing we can think about is ‘who gets the house?’”. My first question is “do you have a mediator or a lawyer?” If only one is calling, the question then becomes “does your spouse know you are talking to me?” Remember that this journey of divorce and selling the home is the last project spouses will do jointly (outside of raising children). It is important to work together one last time. The house sale is all business as it is the division of an asset, but like everything in divorce that is all business, it is deeply emotional. Having someone to take care of the details and manage the coordination of services can help alleviate the stress and free up time needed to stay focused on life.
The process is personalized to each client. Whatever the guidance is to get talking to the right professionals is key. It is about moving in the right direction. It is paramount when time is of the essence. If you or someone you know is dealing with the stress of a divorce and selling, my concierge service along with my real estate services can help to make the process manageable. The preferred professionals and trades I work with are highly experienced and trusted so you can focus on what's most important to you.
It begins with sorting out where you are in your process and putting you in contact with the right professionals.
Contact me to learn more about how we can navigate this life transition smoothly and with less stress.
Sarah Scott, AlbertaRE Real Estate Team
REAL Broker-Simply Great Service
The Listing Concierge
