My name is Sarah, and I am a survivor of domestic violence.
By Sarah Courchesne
In 2021, I was assaulted while 7 months pregnant by my ex. When I found out I was pregnant in September 2020, it was unexpected. I had attempted to leave in June 2020 through a mutual friend, but was reconvinced with false hope that my ex would seek help regarding his substance abuse. I applied to low-income housing in August 2020 to leave indefinitely as I felt the mental and emotional abuse he was instilling on me was only getting worse.
Initially, he did not want the baby and there was an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. After days of thinking about the idea of loss, my oldest child’s loss of a younger sibling, and my core beliefs, I told him I would raise the baby on my own. When I told him I was going to have coffee with his mom, he came with me (as I was not allowed to talk to his parents by myself). When we told his parents about the baby, they were excited. On our way home, my ex stated to me in the car:
“Now I won’t be scared to ask my parents for money.”
Between September 2020 and February 14, 2021, I opened and closed my housing application approximately 10 times depending on if he was love bombing or abusing me. As my pregnancy progressed, he became less interested in me for two reasons that I now understand:
He told me he never liked “bigger ladies.”
40–60% of women experience domestic violence during pregnancy (source).
I admit, I made mistakes. I sought comfort in places I should have sought God. In a time when I felt completely alone, unloved, and hopeless, I turned to my flesh for a temporary fix and had an affair in November 2020. So, when I told him on February 11, 2021, that I had the affair, he was livid.
On February 13, 2021, I emailed the low-income housing because I was terrified of his behaviour mixed with the alcohol. My email read:
February 13, 2021 @ 11:13pm
“I’m just wondering if you can tell me how far on the priority list I am for housing.
My situation has changed and it is imminent that I leave my current residence immediately.
I am in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and it is not good for me being pregnant to stay where I am.
Please contact me as soon as possible.”
On February 14, 2021, he slammed the bathroom door into my stomach two times while I was 7 months pregnant. The following two months at prenatal and medical imaging appointments were met with uncertainty when the estimated fetal weight began to decrease from previous appointments — going from the 50th percentile around the time of the assault, to between the 25th and 50th percentile by March 17, 2021. Again, the estimated fetal weight decreased to the 10th percentile, with her femur length lagging by approximately 3 weeks on April 14, 2021. And on April 28, 2021, I welcomed a beautiful, healthy, little 5lb 15oz baby girl into the world.
In March 2021, I began going to church with my best friend. I wanted to understand what was happening in my life because I felt there was a reason, and I wanted to get a new perspective. I had never gone to church before, but I had believed there was something greater than us in Heaven. I never felt so welcomed into a community as I did at church. The compassion, empathy, and pure love of friendships and families reminded me of growing up back home in Evansburg when I was working at my first job at the local grocery store with all the ladies who became my second family.
I have dedicated my life to Christ through baptism in February 2022 and dedicated my baby girl in April 2022 (she is God’s Gift) and have served as a volunteer for the past 2.5 years. Since dedicating my life to God, I have flourished in many areas of my life and become an advocate for women and children experiencing domestic violence and abuse.
From September 2021 to April 2023, I attended the Northern Alberta Institute of Technology (NAIT) for a Disaster and Emergency Management Diploma and graduated with Honours — which was a huge accomplishment for me! However, I knew God was calling me for more… so today (2025) I am in my second year of my Bachelor’s Degree majoring in Criminology and minoring in Political Science and Psychology.
In February 2022, I met with my MLA to discuss judicial training around domestic abuse and expressed the urgency to protect children. He provided me with excellent resources and expressed he had been in attendance the previous week advocating for judicial training. Shortly after I met with the MLA, I was connected to organizations such as the Edmonton John Howard Society who provided me with subsidized supports. I began brainstorming how I could help other women and children experiencing domestic abuse (which so often goes unreported).
In April 2022, I started my petition to raise awareness about covert domestic abuse and explain coercive control, post-separation abuse, blame-shifting, gaslighting, and manipulation tactics that abusers use to avoid accountability and try to make the victim believe they are to blame. To date (January 30, 2025) there are over 15,000 signatures.
Petition link
In January 2023, I fulfilled a lifelong dream and became a lifestyle model for Numa Models. I developed my interpersonal skills and learned about different modelling styles. I was able to step out of my comfort zone through different photo shoots and get creative with my attire. Reversing the effects of “learned helplessness” from the abusive relationship and redeveloping the ability to love myself allowed me to re-establish my self-esteem and confidence.
In April 2023, I attended a meeting with the Senate from the House of Commons to share my experience as a survivor of domestic violence with 11 other survivors and 3 professionals who specialized in coercive control in preparation and construction of Bill S-249: To Develop a Strategy To Prevent Intimate Partner Violence (IPV).
In January 2024, I was featured in Strong Fitness Magazine under “Women to Watch” for my passion for working out and how it helped me calm hypervigilance (a symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)) and my goal to develop a platform where I can make small measurable workouts for other women experiencing PTSD who struggle to manage the day-to-day tasks.
In February 2024, I attended the Miss Queen Alberta Pageant as a Delegate from Edmonton, Alberta. My platform was advocating for victims of domestic violence and my perspective on how the legal system enables perpetrators of abuse rather than holding them accountable. Although I did not place, it did not deter me from following through with my goals. Not only am I actively working toward my Degree to make changes in legislation to protect victims of domestic violence and abuse (specializing toward Women and Gender Equality and Youth, women and children), I have thrived toward being able to help victims of abuse on a larger level. During the pageant, each delegate is required to attend a 5-minute interview with a panel of judges regarding our platform, and how we would use the title of Miss Queen Alberta in contrast with our platform. After the pageant concluded, I couldn’t help but think there was something more I could do to help women who were in domestic violence situations and didn’t know how to leave, who didn’t understand the situation, who didn’t know about resources that were available — a situation I found myself in not long ago.
In March 2024, I was a recipient of the Soroptimist International Club of Edmonton Soroptimist Best For Women “Live Your Dream Award” for women working to improve their lives through programs leading to social and economic empowerment. I shared my pursuit of justice through my schooling and plans for the future to help other women and children experiencing domestic violence.
In April 2024, my advocacy efforts continued to various MLAs and MPs in Edmonton, raising awareness about the family court failing women and children experiencing domestic violence and post-separation abuse — financial, legal, mental, emotional, psychological. While the emails raising awareness about the topic of the failing “justice system” have been sent to several officials, one MLA in Edmonton-Whitemud acknowledged receiving my email and shared it with an Official Opposition Critic for the Status of Women.
In May 2024, I started a Not-for-Profit Organization in Edmonton called YEG BUILT FOR LIFE FOUNDATION. It is an organization specializing in helping women and children who are experiencing domestic violence and abuse with safety planning for a safe exit and resources for each unique situation. We have a passion for advocating for women’s equal rights and children’s rights or “the voice of the child.” Additionally, we seek to encourage women to take back their power and rebuild their self-confidence through various self-care practices. In January 2025, we became a registered charity through the Canada Revenue Agency, giving us an opportunity to build credibility within our community, develop meaningful relationships with potential stakeholders and raise awareness about our organization's mission.
In June 2024, I ran my first 5K for the Jessica Martel Memorial Foundation Fundraiser. The Jessica Martel Vision is “A future free of domestic violence for all individuals.” There was a lot of important information relating to statistics of intimate partner violence and the difference between healthy relationships and patterns that form in relationships that may indicate a relationship is becoming abusive.
In October 2024, I led a Voices Against Violence Rally at the Edmonton Legislative Grounds. After making countless attempts to recognize domestic violence against women and children as an epidemic in Edmonton through various Edmonton city councillors, I called upon the Province of Alberta to take action to protect women and children experiencing domestic violence and ongoing post-separation abuse through the family court system by judges. Emails were also sent to the Minister of Children and Family Services to assist in intervention. Unfortunately, there has been no response by the Province of Alberta as of February 2, 2025.
Intertwining with all of the above life events, I have served my community’s homeless population with my kids on several occasions, served as a Board of Director for the WECAN Food Basket Society, Administrative Assistant for the Canadian Red Cross, and a volunteer for Urban Bulldogs Against Kids Abuse (UBAKA).
📌 This article was originally published in Life Changes & Divorce Magazine Canada – Fall Issue 2025
Meet the Author - Sarah Courchesne
I am a survivor of domestic violence, and I know the lasting impact of mental, emotional, and psychological abuse. After taking a stand for myself and my unborn child, I lost so much, but I also found my purpose.
I founded the YEG Built For Life Foundation to provide women and children with resources, support, and hope. Through connections with organizations and people who truly understand, we can offer guidance and encouragement.
Our mission is to advocate, empower, and help survivors find their voice. Together, we can rise above abuse and embrace a brighter, stronger future. You are built for a better life.
Website: https://www.yegbuiltforlife.org/#/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61556892060539
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
