#46 Divorce Diaries - Sophia
Divorce Diaries is a series of candid conversations about people's experiences of divorce or separation.
Guests bravely share their stories, experiences and the lessons they've learned through divorce or separation to encourage you, give you some information & support that may help you through this difficult life-changing event. You'll meet people like you who care and want to help so you won't feel so alone in this.
How does a child experience divorce? On this episode, Sophia Fairweather, an award-winning innovative teenager, joins Deena to share her story on the Divorce Diaries series.
Watch the video of this interview on our YouTube channel.
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Transcript:
Sophia Fairweather 0:00
Hi, this is Sophia fairweather, and you're listening to Divorce Magazine Canada podcast.
Deena Kordt 0:08
Hey, are you or someone you care about considering dealing with, or been through a divorce or separation? Well, you're in the right place. You don't have to do this alone. There are people who care and want to help. Hi, I'm Deena Kordt, and author, blogger, publisher, and empowerment coach. Thanks for joining me on the divorce magazine Canada podcast. You are going to hear from our team of experts and professionals how to navigate this difficult transition in your life easier, more efficiently, and with better outcomes. Did you know we host online divorce resource groups that are free to attend, and everyone is welcome? Check out the links in our show notes. And be sure and join us. We love bringing experts to you, please refer to our terms of service available on our website, divorce magazine canada.com. And stay tuned at the end for the legal language. Ready? Here we go.
I have got one of the most fascinating guests yet to introduce you to today. You're, you're just gonna love her. She's amazing. But in the meantime, I want to make sure that you know about a special event that we've planned for you. Did you know that there are actually judges and lawyers that are working to reform the family justice system, they know that it could do better. And that's just two of the presenters. That's our headliners. We have a judge and a lawyer that will be speaking to how they are working to reform the family justice system. This is all going to happen in any event in an evening, online, right away coming up on Tuesday, the 26th of September. And it's in the evening for three hours jam packed 12 presentations from all types of backgrounds and expertise that will help you everything from mortgages to your to your agreements. Around divorce, there is a hypnotist, there's more lawyers, there are mortgage brokers, and oh my gosh, mediators, 12 presentations, 12 different people that will be sharing their knowledge and expertise to really help and support you. Please check out this event. It's only 25 bucks for the early bird price and the early bird price ends today, September 15. And you definitely want to grab that and it's only 10 bucks more. If you've missed this, it's 35. If you don't get the early bird, there is so much more value than that, but I wanted to make it accessible. You can also get the replays. So if you can't join that day or you want to be able to hear the replays, then you can grab a ticket that also gives you all the replays. This is something that you really don't want to miss and I am excited to bring these people to you it's it's really going to be helpful. In whatever stage you are in a divorce or a separation.
Now today on the Divorce Diaries series, Sophia Fairweather, in the right at the ripe old age of 15 has accomplished incredible things is so innovative. And she's just a She's amazing. I am so also happy to I'm pleased to say that she is being recognized she does have awards already that has recognized her amazing accomplishments. And I can't wait to see what how the future unfolds what she does in her future. You're just gonna love her and she's so down to earth and the sweetest person ever. Let's meet her now.
Hey, Sophia, I am excited. You're coming to us from New Brunswick today, which you're, you're on a vacation and you've taken the time out to be with us. I love, love, love that you have offered to share your story as a child who has experienced divorce, and I really admire your caring heart, your bravery, to offer to tell your story. And I think it's going to be really amazing for parents to hear this for other people to hear this for. I don't know how many kids are in my audience and teens are listening to this show. But if their parents hear it, and can say listen, like this girl is amazing. She She shared her story and I think it might be helpful if you listen to it. So welcome, Sophia. Please tell us more about yourself and why you offered to share your story in this Divorce Diaries series.
Sophia Fairweather 4:53
Absolutely. I mean I can if it helps, I can kind of go through a little bit of a background kind of Got a summary of me all the way from the beginning? Actually is I so really, I was born in Whitehorse. So I currently live in Edmonton Alberta. And but I was born in Whitehorse, and my parents were married. And then we went to Ottawa. And I was round three, when I believe when my dad then went to Edmonton. And that was because my parents were going through just a separation at that time, because they found that they were having some difficulties. And then they decided to try it again. And so my mom moved out to Edmonton. And they live together. And then that's how I got my brother. So I have a 11 year old brother, called James, and we're very close. And then they ended up finally divorcing when I was six years old. And James is four years younger than me. So he was two. So he's always known. My parents as divorced. But so But since then, I have always, never seen it as a barrier to be able to do things. And because I've never seen as a barrier, I've kind of gone down entrepreneurial path. And now really jumping into the future I part of a womanizer. Group. It's called womanizer, I believe. Hopefully, I'm, I think I'm saying that right. And that's where I met you. And I just saw connection there. I decided, you know, hey, why not? This is something I've never talked about before. And my experience may be helpful or interesting to those listening. So yeah, just decided to give it a go.
Deena Kordt 6:39
Okay, you're 15? I am so impressed with the maturity that you present with its woman isn't that we met at at a baseball game. Yeah. And it's it's womanizer. I like that. Actually. I think it could be called out as well. But yes, it's a fabulous group of very inspiring, incredible women. And I love that you are the future of this type of entrepreneurship that we're seeing, expand and grow. And, you know, we're all supporting each other in that. So you have known many years of divorce and that process. Do you remember a time when your mother moved to Edmonton? And they were trying again? And do you remember, what were your experiences at that time? How did how did you feel were you really, really optimistic, and hoping this would work?
Sophia Fairweather 7:41
At the time, I don't even I don't have much memories from the time. But like, I never, I never remember any negative experiences or loneliness or sadness. I just knew that, like in the Ottawa house, I just knew that he wasn't there. And I thought he was just like out at a work trip. My dad did a lot of contracting. So he sometimes was not there. And actually, I went on two flights before we actually moved out to Edmonton two flights, to see my dad for a couple of months during the summer. And I just remember being super happy to see him again. And I never like I didn't know that they were separated or anything. I just thought that they just weren't together at that time, because they were doing different things. And then when we finally moved out, so it's just completely different than I would have perceived it. If I was eight, or maybe 10, or 11. It just it never clued into me that they were having problems or anything. That just he was in a different place at that time.
Deena Kordt 8:42
That makes sense. And you would try and rationalize it in a way that puts a positive spin. Because you you want to hope for the best right? Now, once you moved to Edmonton, and they, they were living together, eventually realized it wasn't going to work. There must have been some tough times to experience standards, or that you sense that things maybe weren't as happy as as you'd hoped. Or that you would hope.
Sophia Fairweather 9:12
I think the when I finally recognized that something was really different was I so it was it was not when so when they finally did break up, or they're going through the at least the first beginning of the divorce. My dad actually lived in the basement of my mom's so that wasn't really anything different. But I remember he was like, they're trying to explain to me what was happening, but it wasn't really listening. Like I really wasn't paying attention. I didn't actually know what was happening until he finally bought a place and would ask one and that's like an hour drive outside of Edmonton. And I remember going to this new house, and I just thought he was buying a new place. Anything and you would think was weird. Then I was very excited. I mean, that's kind of cool moving. I thought everyone was moving now. And then he finally kind of he was living there. And like two months after that, or something around that, I think I finally started cluing in because I was missing the other parent, because instead of one parent always not being there, it was on and off, because we had a Friday switch, and we still have a Friday switch. And I just, that's when I finally started realizing something was wrong. And there was a polarization between the two, that I was starting to finally feel that the divorce was causing, and all those kind of logistical details were causing. And I just started slowly more cluing into that polarization as I kept getting older.
Deena Kordt 10:49
Now, I want to clarify here that you do have your parents permission to share this story. And in case anybody's wondering, like, wait a minute, did you just pull this kid on the show? And and you know, just tell all but but I love that it really sounds you're like your family has been very cognizant of managing that transition, and those different stages and phases of, you know, to try they separated, then they try it again. And they didn't weren't creating a lot of very visible conflict or, you know, a lot of heavy drama for you to deal with, because it sounds like you aren't left with some, some really hard things to process. Would that be accurate?
Sophia Fairweather 11:44
I think I'm still sorting through it at the time. I mean, I'll address the first thing you said there is yes, my parents to give them permission, they recognize that as I've slowly become my own person, and they've, they've recognized that they dislike each other. And that impacts both me and my brother. And yeah, there's there's always the kind of it's, it's very hard to explain to someone that's never experienced it. But when there's a polarization between the two household you gossip about the other parent, it you can't, like, I don't know if it's something that all families experienced, but my family definitely has it. And I mean, when I was six years old, I wasn't listening to it or it didn't stick. But when I was slowly, eight, 910, that's when I started realizing if I talked about the other house, there was negative side, like side effects, sometimes because they were still fighting, they're still on the defense against each other. So that was always kind of interesting. And I they they do both recognize that the divorce and the polarization has not been good. And that they recognize that it does impact me and James, but that's how I'm willing to talk about it. And that's why they're okay with that. But it's such a difficult thing to explain. And it's not like this happens once in a while, like, this is something I've been living with for nine years. And it just, it's always there. And it's not like this only happens in one year. And that's how I find if I explain this to someone, they just think about it as one year, but it grates on you. And it just keeps happening. And that can be exhausting and tiring. You have to tell them to stop. But they see it as maybe just telling stories or telling you you have the problems. But if you don't want to know those problems, or the way you do it is heavily heavily negative. And that that can be a problem at times, if I was to give a recommendation ever to families is to just not gossip or be overly negative about the other parent. That's different than just telling stories or just talking because they're your parents. So it's different.
Deena Kordt 14:14
That is one of the best pieces of advice I've heard yet and the source that it would come from a child whose experiences neck a teen a young, a young person who has spent nine years through this process that is still ongoing. And what a very valid observation. Yeah, and I thank you for that advice. Because not only are you in it, you're accustomed to it. This is part of your environment. It is very draining very exhausting. Yeah. And just because it's there and happening and it is recognized you are bringing attention to it and you are making the request that it you know that there is an emotion And, and negativity added when you do just want to share something, you probably I'm guessing you hesitate to share like, oh, this was really fun or this is happening at my other home. And oh, yeah.
Sophia Fairweather 15:13
Oh, yeah, yeah, I just don't talk about the other house.
Deena Kordt 15:17
Yeah. I think this is so important.
Sophia Fairweather 15:20
Yeah, I didn't mean to interrupt you. But yeah, it's just such a thing. If people don't get it, my brother is now sadly slowing, solely queueing into it. That I started experiencing it when I was starting to mature. And I mean, because you're slowly starting to mature, you're, it's not a purposeful thing. But you're seeing as the other adult in the house. And you're not yes. And now that my brother is mature, he's also experiencing that, but he's also experiencing when he tells stories and thinks about the other house. That's not just telling a story that's talking about this person's rival. And because they still argue, I mean, between schools, like school, it's a huge point for us. Because that's another thing, if one parent really, really supports something or brings it up, then the other parent thinks that they're swaying you, even if you're not, and then you really, really have to explain that it's something that you want, and not just something that you're being manipulated into. That's very exhausting. You really, yeah, something about you have to really either take charge or it has to be something you have to do yourself. Because, I mean, I, this is a completely like left field story. But when I first started my periods, I had really heavy ones. And it had really, really bad cramps. And I was trying to find solutions, how to lessen those cramps, and one parent recommended going on the pill, or those kind of medications. And the minute that was brought up, the other parent was totally against it totally against me being on any medication to do with periods said this is normal, which it wasn't at the time I was having eight, nine, heavy period days, it was not normal, but they're just completely ignoring that fact. Because they just saw it as something to attack the other parent with and just ignored the fact that it was actually hurting me. So I just ended up having to completely take charge myself. And I set up a doctor appointment, I called my I called the doctor, I said, Hi, I want to talk with you want to figure out like what can I do about this? Because I went to doctors points with both parents. But when they went to the other parent with all the information, they had very different stories, and it was with the same physicians, so it just wasn't working out that way. So I made the appointment. I talked with them. And I said, Okay, so I want this now that I actually knew everything. And she said, Okay, and then gave me the prescription. And then I walked to the Walmart, and I picked up the prescription. And then I got the little patches that I decided to go on, because I saw that as this less invasive, and it helped me and control my period, because it was also pretty sporadic. Wasn't like a consistent time each month or anything. Right? So yeah, like that's a very miniscule version of any activity, anything that I do in my life, there's always that then that's just like an example. One that was actually able to kind of do myself or kind of fix it in a way. So yeah.
Deena Kordt 18:50
Sophia, I want to unpack this a little bit. This is profound. The fact that you I'm serious here Yeah, the fact that you don't you're you down like you're so used to being this phenomenal person that you don't see you don't see what I'm seeing and what the listeners are going to hear is not only how can I like mature comes to mind and so resilient and how you are resourceful and and you you approach things with a can do attitude and and yet you're very realistic about that there are negative forces that are our underlying a lot of what's happening and that they don't have to be there that they're that that can be addressed and pointed out and and acknowledged like listen adults, you're adding some negative drama that does not need to be here. What the one word that really caught my attention was rival rival and how they consider each other rivals and so that adds explore Soft power to anything because that automatically indicates competition. So, if somebody, yeah, so if something comes up, they feel compelled to, to disagree to to feel the opposite. Well, if they think this then yeah as as, as my rifle in competition, then I automatically should be thinking the opposite. And I'm going to fight for the opposite that leaves who in the middle the person with the person with the either the desire to let's say you want to play hockey or maybe you have a health concern like your period, whatever it is if it's positive negative, it's something you want to do or, or be or go, whatever it is, but then that leaves you in the middle and this comes up. The other thing that is very unfortunate is you're basically having to mute off of your life, or whatever percentage that you're in, in each home. So you you're having to mute that hide that. Keep that quiet and be very careful, hyper vigilant about what you say and share happen to mention. And you know, who who does that leave you to talk about? So what if you do have a question or concern or just a request that you want to make from one home? And you and you kind of want to talk it over with the other parent? Well, it's a very loaded, not possible. So where does that leave you possible? There you are in the middle. The other thing before we, before you respond to that is, I'm super impressed that you shared a story about your period, because I came from the generation that when you if you anything to do with that you didn't talk about with anybody, maybe your mom. And if you did need any products or anything like that you would never mention it in the in the vehicle with your dad and brother or anything like that. I mean, that whole generation. And it's still kind of there, right? It's a it's this taboo topic. And yet, I wrote a whole I blog as well, I have a separate website, you go girl, and I blog there and I addressed that topic, and why, like what is causing what has led us right, from biblical times, to you know, where women were thought to be unclean when they were menstruating and all that, and I explore that in a blog. And, and really encourage it's been blocked for me to speak openly about that. And you know, I really commend my, my partner and how he is a parent to his teen daughters and, man, he's incredible, like he will have those conversations. His mom is a retired public health nurse like that stuff is that's on that's open. That's open conversation. I so respect and admire that. So the fact that you on a podcast, not only you mentioned to me, talking about your experiences through a divorce, from your perspective, is not something that you just you're not, you don't, this is the first time you're sharing this. And I'm so honored that you've chosen to share it. And I hope that this leads to you feeling compelled to do so more. And I think you have a lot of value to offer. And also now that you would broach that subject and use that as an example. And I don't mean to make this like a big massive deal. But it is to a lot of the listeners, because I think many of them are coming from a generation. You know, where? What did she just say? So thank you, thank you for going down that road now. Please continue. And tell us tell us more respond to what I've just said. And
Sophia Fairweather 23:50
yeah, I mean, I know I had to actually think about but when you find like, when you said that this was that was a story, I realized that. Yeah, that because the polarization or that kind of thing going on. It made it a lot more scary and dramatic than I thought it was because I mean, both of my parents, they're very smart. And they're very good speakers. So they're very persuasive on both sides. So I heard that, why you should go on it. And these are all the problems that you have, and this is how it's gonna get worse. And then I heard if you do go on it, you'll like all these bad things will happen. And they just made a lot more dramatic, a lot more stressful experience. That didn't need to be cuz I wasn't gonna die either way. I'm not on the patch anymore because it calmed down. So it was it's just like that's just like a smaller version of how everything else gets blown up. And you just have to be really, really careful how you bring up an activity Do your topic, because just don't want that to happen with everything because it's exhausting. And that involves a lot of talking a lot of kind of diplomacy. And it's helped me become a really good speaker. So you know that but or at least the decent speaker. So, yeah, it's, it just makes you kind of interesting and different. It's a hard type of difference to explain, especially to other like my peers and things they show me you can't talk about, because they don't understand. And it's a different experience between all the books, children as well, it's very different, I have one person that is no longer able to stay with her father, that's a very, very different, she had a very much more difficult experience than I did. But mine was still difficult and still is difficult.
Deena Kordt 25:49
So yeah. What did you find helped you? What kept you grounded? What? How have you grown to be this type of person after already spending nine years in it, and it's still ongoing, it's still it's still very much your lifestyle? What is it that has helped you be who you are?
Sophia Fairweather 26:20
Well, I guess it's just always trying to find, how can I fix this? How can I make this better, like I don't want this to stop me from doing things. And so it just means that I've had to take a lot more initiative. And so it has made me a lot more of a risk taker in a way because now I have more experience taking charge and doing my own things. I do a lot more things that are seen as very mature. And that even University, like I go to events, people think I'm a university student, and that's fair. I also I'm older now, so I kind of can look like it. But having my something to build, like all my kind of entrepreneurial things like right now I'm in property. But before that, I was doing products, and I was speaking further youth getting into STEM, like it's a completely different genre than like, like I said, this is a completely like, this is more of like, my personal life. And that the side that I don't talk about with people, cuz I don't talk about with family because both sides of the family are polarized. Except like, like not even a handful, like in that. Yeah. So that's always kind of fun, I can talk about with friends. So like, there's no one to talk about that my brother. And that's made us even closer. And it's me also trying to prevent him from stepping in line landmines and things like there was a one thing I like when I was nine or 10. I ended up actually going legal, because of a picture that I took. And it wasn't legal. Like they were literally calling lawyers against each other. And they still talk about it to this day, blame the other parents and things like that. Like it like it's just such a like, it's not every single day that they bring it up, but it's always there. And it's those mistakes, mistakes that you make, that really make you cautious. And it makes us makes things difficult. And it's made. Yeah, it's just it makes. Yeah, it's interesting. And it's probably not been easy for my brother to watch either. So.
Deena Kordt 28:29
And I found that is the same. When I started this podcast when I started this work. It was because I have been through a divorce, I lived over 30 years in an abusive relationship. I wanted that in my past, but I kept seeing examples of people who needed to know they weren't alone that needed to hear my experience, I wanted to make good of it. And I wanted to help others. And so it was it was one thing to I speak and I I have written books about mindset and manifesting those types of things. But really, the important thing to share is the difficult things and that's what will resonate with people and support them. So it is off to share those personal that personal side, you know, we've got the entrepreneurial role. And it's not a mask, but it's a it's a personnel. It's, you know how we personify it and represent ourselves. So we present as this entrepreneur and we're very comfortable with our, you know, whether you have products or a service, but then when we talk about the personal that's actually who people are doing business with is you the person and when we allow that vulnerability and that transparency, that's when the beautiful connections and relationships start to build and so I really commend you for for allowing this time to share more about you personally. I would I'm, I'd love to hear more about your story. But I would like to also have you tell us about your entrepreneurial experiences and what ventures you have going right now. And where where do you see yourself in the future? That's exciting.
Sophia Fairweather 30:23
Yeah, I at the more fun side of things, and honestly, not to kind of completely dry back into the divorce part. But I found that because of the positions I've been put in, and all that kind of stuff, it has made me more flexible, I know how to take charge, and I'm a really good or not really good communicator. But I'm a lot more comfortable being a communicator now. So that has really supported me. And so like I said, I started with products. When I was around five years old, I was really into making cookies and coffee, and are always really made into cookies. So I sold those at my dad's work. And I walked around, and I sold these cookies that people and I saw that they were having coffee with their cookies. And so I decided, You know what, I'm already going to this coffee place. And like I'm already like, in the building all the time. So I reached out to the people and I said, like, Hey, can I also provide the coffee like, that just is another thing I could do, I thought that'd be kind of fun. And so when I was like, between five and like five and a half, probably more around the sticks kind of area, I took over the coffee club for that building. And I was finding the copies and the cookies. And I decided that after making around $7,000, from that, I wanted to do more. And so I made a product. And the way I made the product was I was at an art school. So I wanted to make things pretty. And one of the things that my dad used to blind his car was Velcro, and for his phone. And so I decided to make a prettier version for Velcro in the phone, like for his phone, on the dashboard and for other things as well. But I called the smartphone adhesive. And it was fun Chrome. And so I sold, I think at the most 10,000 units of fun Chrome. And there are of course, other sales I did to kind of local, like in with Haskell, and I sold to a clothing person that just had their own clothing store there. And I did a few other sales and whatnot. And that was a lot of fun. And ended up getting $70,000 from that. And I also made some other products as well, because I just enjoyed the ideation process of that all. So I also made some other products. And I use those as examples for other youth, other girls specifically get into STEM, because another kind of caveat into the divorce thing is, when you have parents that fight about doing all these activities and stuff, it really makes being an activities very, very difficult, at least for my my family. So I ended up doing something that didn't involve a schedule, essentially. And that allowed me to do all these kind of get into STEM and get into this entrepreneurial path. And I saw this amazing. And I saw it as something I really enjoyed doing. And and I enjoy it a lot more than doing hockey or thinking. So I wanted to share to other youth and other girls. And so these other products and I essentially I lead by example. And that's what I did for a little while there until those around 11. And I decided that I had this money, and I had done all this stuff. But awareness wasn't doing a whole lot like girls than the youth. They actually needed support, they needed access, they want to get into this bike I had through my dad's work. And so I was kind of stewing there for a little bit. And while that was happening, I took a little bit of the $70,000. And I use it as a down payment for a four Plex, like a four unit property because that's what my dad's side of the family, they would they were huge into four plexes. And the model that they use, is you live in one unit and you rent out the others. And then the three units that you're renting out pays all the housing expenses, including
Deena Kordt 34:28
I gotta jump into your 11 on the first property owner,
Sophia Fairweather 34:34
it roughly had to be a little bit because I had to be under 18 you can't actually buy property. So I gave that section of money. I gave it to my guy gave it to my Grampy and then he also had the credit credit score and the qualifying room, right go into the properties. So I I essentially I funded the project, right so but it's this month model that of like kind of having a disability, when I turn 18 house is gonna be turned over to me, then I can live in that unit. And then I have that revenue. And there's also $500 monthly that you have. And currently, that's just going into savings, right? But that could go towards food. And then so I have all my basic needs covered off, I have that stability. And this is the model, I decided, because it was something I was actually familiar with, to give to these other youth as a way to give them stability and give them access to then achieve a higher education in STEM, or to be able to do their entrepreneurial innovation kind of pursuits. And then I've also recently decided to set up a proposal that I'm kind of fishing around with, where I'll be connecting youth that are under 18, preferably, but it's a little bit of an interesting place to figure out where I can fit in, but connecting these youth that are interested in innovation, to the actual outlets that are out there, because how I'm actually aware of the ecosystem, I just need to connect these youth to the ecosystem places like Edmonton limited, and business link so that they can get the appropriate resources to be able to continue growing. Because first of all, a lot of us aren't aware of the ecosystem, it's kind of broadcasted to adults, mostly, but also the people that are in something like Junior Achievement, it that it's like the ideation process. So like they can create the thing. But by the end of the course, or whatever they're in, it kind of just stops, and then they have this product. And then it just like, What do I do now, and they don't teach them a lot of the other additional skills like how to make a briefing, note how to make a good email, how to stay in contact, go on LinkedIn, a LinkedIn account, that is such a basic, simple, amazingly helpful thing of just having your LinkedIn account. And like finding manufacturers, that's crazy important. So if I'm able to connect these youth that are especially at these places, like Junior Achievement, or have these ideas, and just the youth that are also interested in innovation, to the appropriate resources, and a place that already have all the supports and resources, and just don't broadcast to the underrate team, beautiful place of ideas and intelligence and eagerness, like a lot of people that I know, but they go into singing and dancing and hockey, instead go to this, then that helps the ecosystem but it also helps us be able to get into a sector earlier, and be able to have all the experiences and create and innovate, which is a lot of fun.
Deena Kordt 37:53
Sophia, I am thrilled to think of what the future holds not only for you, but for the world, having people like you in it and how you are leading, you're you're creating change and opportunity for others around you. You're lifting them with you. That's just it's absolutely beautiful. And I just sense all the enthusiasm and the, the the optimism and hopefulness and you, you it's like you can see an opportunity anywhere. I'm blown away that at five, you already saw not only an opportunity to supply a service that people would really enjoy with the cookies, but then you noticed and recognized, hey, there's an opportunity with the coffee too. And then you made that happen as well. At such I have a grandson who's five, I can't even like he's brilliant. I don't know that he would a business opportunity that he would recognize or consider. I'm sure his parents will absolutely seems
Sophia Fairweather 38:56
like the really nice kind of correlation. I mean, so first of all, what I what I wanted to do initially actually was a lemonade stand. But then I didn't like making lemonade. So I had to, but I enjoy making cookies. I've done that many times before. So that's what I decided to start making. But those would melt in the sun and that kind of thing. And then so I was like I was like wondering what I could do. I mean, I don't remember this clearly. But somehow that turned over to where like we're somewhere with a lot of people and I knew my mom and dad always went to work. And that actually I think I wanted to give it initially to like the daycare I was going to but there's like all these allergy things. So I went there. So I went to instead my dad's office building and I gave it around there. And so that's how I kind of got there. So it's not as complicated. And also I mean, it's not like five year olds don't have intelligence to them. I mean, that's when you first started kinda getting them into piano. But that's when he started getting them into ballet. He was actually in a ballet class when I was five. Like, that's when you start introducing them to all these career paths, and passions, and things that possibly they'll have an interest in. If they don't, then you move on to the next thing, and innovation, entrepreneurship or stem. It's just another one of those,
Deena Kordt 40:22
I think, what's the factor that you had and exhibited, and aren't continued to do, that many kids have that maybe isn't utilized as well as it could be? Is that self awareness? So obviously, the intelligence but also the self awareness? So you recognize it five eliminates down is what everybody you know, lots of kids are doing, they make a couple of bucks. I don't like making lemonade. What do I like making? So you, you were self aware? Well, I like making cookies. Okay, let's try that. Well, let's see, they melt in the sun. I'm not just gonna give up. Where could I sell them? Where are their people? Where are there people that could buy the types of cookies I make that aren't concerned about allergies, like you, you you just kept looking and pivoting and adjusting and, and made it happen. And it's something that I mean, I've, like I just mentioned, I've written books about that, you know, make it happen, figure that out, don't give up. And no matter how big or small the dream is, it leads to other things. And I just really, really admire what you've done. And it's, you're inspiring me, because there's lots of times I think to now maybe that's not working. Maybe, yeah, I'll just give it up. No, no, let's stop and just step back, maybe ask some other people, what are they observing? Where might there be some other opportunity and make this happen? Now, one thing I would really appreciate you telling us more about, you've mentioned stem? Can you what is that?
Sophia Fairweather 41:53
Oh, yeah, I forget sometimes in my little groups, that's usually something I mean, their STEM their Steam their STEMI. There's all these bright abbreviations, but like, I think the oldest one is stem. And that stands for science, technology, engineering, and mathematics.
Deena Kordt 42:08
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.
Sophia Fairweather 42:10
Yeah. So it's, that's why I've slowly I'm trying to pivot myself around to just saying entrepreneurship, and innovation, because that's something that people can click into in a ton of more my area of thing. But I was for a while there, I was in STEM, like, that's what I was doing creating things. So it's still kind of there.
Deena Kordt 42:31
Now, is that, is that an organization Sophia? Or,
Sophia Fairweather 42:35
Oh, no stem, it's just ideation. It's just out there.
Deena Kordt 42:38
Yes. Okay. Now, what is your current, you probably have multiple projects. What is are your current passions in in entrepreneurship? And where are you working now? To, to grow?
Sophia Fairweather 42:54
Yeah. So the way I ended off with that, that's what I like the idea that the model of the four Plex, that's what I'm currently pursuing, and it's called key angels. And we've helped six years so far. And so they're stable, and everything one of them was actually under 18 youth who had two younger siblings underneath her. And so now they have that kind of stability around them such a, that's one of my pride stories. I always I don't, I don't like to get into too much just because it kind of feels like it's a breach of whatever. But that's one of the ones I'm very proud of. But we've helped six years. And I don't know what else was in there. Well, there's also the youth that are underneath them. So the youth that we couldn't help yet, because I mean, this was still a new idea that we were kind of test piloting the youth that are underneath them. A quite a few of them, after seeing them on a work have now wanted to be the next wave. So it's been a lot of figuring out, where can we do this through talking with banks, things like that. And then there's a proposal I talked about, of reaching out to places with youth, or just finding a way to bring awareness to youth to the ecosystem and connected them to those ecosystems, that they can be there continue growing their idea, or just be introduced to the kind of innovation entrepreneurship ecosystem that's around them.
Deena Kordt 44:23
Give us some examples of the products that you use to grow this, this startup revenue so that you had something to invest in to fund these projects.
Sophia Fairweather 44:33
Yeah, so I had Funcro. That was the main one. That was why I turned Funcro into something prettier. And that was the whole thing because we did it initially tried to do local. I tried to go to local manufacturers, but either the glue wasn't right or the ink wasn't right. And I mean, at the time I was thinking like Velcro already exist, like, how difficult is this, we just need like more precise ink. Like, I just thought it was so weird, like how hard this was. So we ended up going to China. And they after some kind of trial and error with them, were able to figure out some prints that were popular. I got the fairweather crest, I actually have that hit home. And, yeah, we were just able to kind of go through that. So that's what I ended up doing the most revenue on. And that's what I got kind of at the end of the $70,000. And then I use like 12,000 or so for the down payment of the property. So I still had a lot extra. And of course, I still have my parents support and able to kind of drive to things. I have my learner's now. But I have to wait till I'm 16 to get my class five year whatever it is, oh, no, I think Alberta got rid of that II. So I think it's just classified again. So like, I do have support getting places, sometimes buying things my grandparents as well. My grandma is really big into kind of fashion and stuff. She was a model here in New Brunswick. That's why I'm here in New Brunswick, because a lot my family originated from here. So yeah, it's, it's been a lot of fun. I, I love how I'm in the entrepreneurial field, and I really enjoyed it. And it gives me a lot of passion and energy. And I think introducing more youth to that would be really good for them just for the experience, even if they're not super interested into it, they know what's there. And it's a lot of fun.
Deena Kordt 46:27
So I love the entrepreneurial mindset because it is innovative. And you've used that word. And I think that sums it up beautifully is how you have to be open to new ideas, different directions than you thought you might go. And just just roll with it. And keep a very, very open mind and be willing to hear feedback or run into walls and then change direction, or find a way over it.
Sophia Fairweather 47:03
Yeah, not to be too abrupt with the current trend transition into the whole divorce thing, I bumped into a lot of walls, and I wasn't able to do what all my friends were doing. But I decided I still wanted to do something, I still wanted to do something extracurricular. And so I just started with cookies, and I just kept progressing from there. And it's something that I could do solo, so something that I had more control over. So like I could actually do it. And it gave me a sense of purpose and some direction in my life. And if I ever felt sad, I could always think of this and it just filled me like I said passion and energy. So I found that it's been really good for me having this thing.
Deena Kordt 47:43
And it helps you rise above the the underlying currents, right? Yeah. And it, it gives you hope that you know, this is temporary, this situation where you are actually very dependent in many ways. You're creating independence while you're in that space. And and that dependence is temporary. And it's going to be even even more temporary for someone like you who is creating independence while while you're at this age already. So by 18 A lot of those undercurrents won't have the same power over you sort of thing, they you will be out managing on your own, you're creating, you're leading, and you have an incredible future ready for you. Is there any advice that you would give to to kids that are where, where you've been for the last nine years? And what what would you say would be the top things that they could be focusing on? Or what give them some encouragement? Um,
Sophia Fairweather 48:55
well, I think the first one, I mean, I don't remember not very great on encouragement, but I think kind of falls back to I mean, I was gonna say, take charge, but that sounds so cliche and like useless. It's not even funny. But when you said independence, that's really what I've been doing. All these people I've been depending on that haven't been very big pillars in my life. I ended up making my own independence, ended up making my own stability, and then reaching out and finding the people in my life mentors, and then my grandparents sometimes to be the kind of these pillars for me, and to get advice from. And so it's just adapting and finding your own independence via through your own passion. Or, I don't know, meditating or something, but finding your own independence and the way I did that was to do finding my passion and continuously growing it. So then I am independent, and I have my security for even if I'm not like constantly threat or anything but I have that security around me. And for in the future. I'm creating that security. So, yeah, and that stability as well. Honestly,
Deena Kordt 50:08
I like what you said about mentors, Sophia, because when people, people, kids at any age, but especially where you're trying to create some independence, if they recognize someone who is doing what they would like to do some time, or there is a teacher, or there's, you know, if they are, right now they are, say taking music or dance or a sport. And if they see that there's more they want to want to do to ask those people, would you? Would you consider being a mentor? Or could you teach me? Could you give me some extra time or point me towards some resources that I can learn? What to do what you're doing? And to grow in that? You know, is there are a future? Could we sit down? And and go for an ice cream or something? And could could I ask you some questions about what you do? And, and whether it's something that you would help me to reach? Or maybe tell me some things that about it that you know, the pros, the cons, because maybe it looks really wonderful. But when you sit down with a person, they say, Well, I really wish I'd rather it be gone down this path, or these are some things, some sacrifices I've had to make that you're going to have to consider. So I think it's really That's great advice is to, you know, look for where you can build that independence. And I love that you mentioned mentors, many, many people would be truly honored if they were asked questions about what they're doing, and would love to help. And it's just a matter of being brave enough. And you you know, you've demonstrated that and the success that can come from that. And you learn about yourself. And it might be something that you find it's interesting, and you decide to pursue it for a while. And there's no guilt in changing directions or trying something different. And sailing forward, you're not going to try and you're not going to get forward unless you allow yourself some some space to fail as well.
Sophia Fairweather 52:15
Yeah, yeah, I think branching out and finding the people around you, for anybody is super important. I mean, not just children or divorcees, we all kind of see the world with our parents so much, we end up seeing the kind of ugly sides or the negative sides of them, especially for children of divorces. So finding those other mentors, find those other pillars for their people to learn from. One of my personal favorites is Simon Sinek. And obviously, I've never met him in real life, but I find he's a great resource to learn from. And, yeah, yeah, I think finding other people outside and then you get to realize that not everyone is super doom and gloom, and that there's good in the world and all that kind of stuff. So
Deena Kordt 52:57
How can kids approach the conversations with their parents? Obviously, it's very, very personal and very individual to the situation. Yeah, but out, how would you suggest they maybe approach those conversations where they try and help their parents understand that? This, this is a difficult spot to be in the middle? And could they please recognize that, that what, how they're reacting maybe to something that you're sharing, is causing a lot of negative? Negative reactions, negative feelings for you to to be there in the middle?
Sophia Fairweather 53:46
I haven't figured that out yet. I mean, that's why is it fair enough? I don't think it ever will be completely. It's just something that's so ingrained in them, because it's just so natural. I mean, like, you're gonna gossip about people, and especially about the main person in your life that you have to constantly be fighting with, or constantly be in contact with. So I honestly don't really no, but try to recognize that these that your parents are people who have had very difficult experiences with each other. And that they've had a hard time I recognize that they, they had a difficult like they've it's not a it's not a happy relationship between those two. So like, they've had their big problems. So this is trying to remember that but I honestly haven't figured it out. Yeah, I mean, I honestly I don't even really know how to bring it up. I mean, I imagine the conversation sometimes, but I can also like if I brought that up, we can also imagine alienating them. Now I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that yet. At I'm 15 so it makes a difference. Unless I'm ready to live by myself, and I have considered honestly, living with my aunt, and she's completely up to that. But at the same time, I don't want to alienate them yet. So I have my options, I have my ways out, but I'm not sure I'm ready to do them yet, or even ever. Having the choices is very nice. So think about it, but also recognize how you're feeling and where you're at.
Deena Kordt 55:22
I think the gem there, in what you just shared, Sophia is to remind kids that they allow their parents some space that they realize and recognize the difficult experience that their parents are, are in and will be for the rest of their lives, because they have shared children. And just, you know, forgiving that, and understanding that some compassion around that it's, it shouldn't be on the kids to necessarily have to bring that up. But speaking up for them for yourself, again, like you mentioned, depending on your situation, could cause alienation. But it also, you know, may cause some, some more consideration. So I like I think the gym there is where you said for kids just to understand how difficult this is for their parents as well. And that that other person is going to be a rival and probably always will be. And it's just going to include some, some awkwardness and negativity. And you know, they're trying their best, and the kids are trying their best. Everybody's just trying to get through this with the least amount of damage. So I think that's important. And yeah, you're trying to figure it out, I think you're an incredible communicator. But yes, when there's emotional involved, and those types of conversations, I'm not sure how to best do that. Now I can speak from an adult with an adult child. My children were both adults when I was divorced. And there, I just commend my daughter, who requested that we sit down with a mediator, her and I because our relationship had changed. She was expecting her first child, and all of a sudden, this child isn't going to have grandparents that are married, right, like now there's this split, and there's this, there's this drama. And she felt like the closeness that we'd had was, was changed had changed. And she was concerned because I was out, trying to figure out who I was now, you know, 30, some years later. And she requested, we sit down with a mediator and have those conversations. And it was incredible, what a beautiful gift. I hadn't even realized that was an option. Now with the work I'm doing with divorce magazine, I'm learning about the resources that are available to help people. And we did we sat down with a mediator, we had some conversations, she, you know, what she was there to do what mediators do, right to help facilitate that. And it was incredible, and it really made a difference. So I guess that would be an option for families that I would really encourage. And, you know, it might be something that you would want to consider or request. There's also divorce coaches and mentors that are out there to to really assist people with all that. That tricky stuff. And so yeah, I guess that's, that's where I would would say to do that now. I really appreciate so appreciate the time that you took to have this conversation with me and, and share your story, your enthusiasm, your very inspiring future that you are leading others and helping others as well to achieve and I really am excited to watch what happens in Sofia fair weathers life and world. And I hope to have you back again. If there is more that we can share with you with youth and give them that hope and that encouragement to just follow your dreams and find a way to make them happen. Thank you for being
Sophia Fairweather 59:31
Barriers. Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. And yeah, I hope so. I would love to come back and if I can support the youth, but also kind of give a maybe a reality check sometimes to the adults. So yeah,
Deena Kordt 59:45
that's so valuable to hear that perspective. And when they hear it from you. They hear it differently than the emotionally loaded. He would the way they'd hear it from their own kids. And I think you're speaking you're really representing many you mentioned barriers you I interrupted you there.
Sophia Fairweather 1:00:08
Oh, yeah, I was gonna say I forgot who told me this. I'm not gonna say the quote, right. But barriers are more like, imagine more like a stream. It's just directing you towards a different path. i That's how I got into innovation, entrepreneurship, I wanted to do something, I couldn't do it all these other you kids were doing. So instead, I went to innovation, creating things entrepreneurship, that kind of route. So, yeah, things, things will work out as long as you just stay true to what you want to do. And just recognizing what you want. And just seeing that passionate, because you'll be able to draw energy and passion from your energy and passion. You can't really do that from someone else's. I mean, sometimes can but if you can be pushed in towards something that you really don't want to do. You're not gonna be able to draw anything from that. And it's exhausting on the face, though. Yeah.
Deena Kordt 1:01:07
What a great place to end. And I think your barriers, let's say, choose cookies over lemonade. Yeah, you used something you bumped up against and just went, Wait a minute, I'm just going to follow where it leads me like you say a stream and just flow with it. And I love that. Thank you, Sophia. Have a fantastic rest of your day.
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