Man Up, Lift Up: Finding Strength and Support in the Aftermath of Divorce
By Mike Thibeau
The Myth of “Throw Some Dirt On It”
“Hey, man up. Throw some dirt on it. Don’t show emotion. You’ll get through this.”
For generations, that’s the unspoken rule handed down to men across central Alberta and beyond — an emotional script that tells them to bottle up pain and push through life’s hardest moments.
But what happens when life hits so hard that toughness alone can’t hold you together?
That question led Mike Thibeau, a former radio professional, to create Man-Up Support — a group that lifts men up by challenging the very idea of “manning up.”
Mike knows firsthand the depths men can reach during divorce. His own was long and contentious, marked by years of legal battles, emotional exhaustion, and unfamiliar pain. “I’ve got the receipts for all the tough times,” he says.
While searching for help, Mike discovered a gap: most men’s groups were tied to churches — a barrier for him and many others. Seeing a “huge disservice” in doing nothing, he decided to act.
Drawing on his 15 years in radio, where he’d built a strong network through hosting events and community work, he gathered others with “a heart to help.” That was the birth of Man-Up Support 1.0 — an idea sparked at the tail end of his third lawyer and the start of a mission that would change lives.
The Cost of Compassion and the Rebirth of Man-Up
The first version of Man-Up Support launched seven years ago. Meetings ran monthly for seven months, and while the purpose was noble, Mike himself was still deep in his own healing.
He quickly learned a painful truth: compassion without boundaries can break you.
Men would visit his workplace, collapse emotionally, and pour their pain into him. “They were falling apart in my office — emotionally vomiting all over me,” Mike recalls.
As a facilitator, not a counselor, he didn’t know how to manage that flood of despair. The emotional weight became too heavy, and eventually, he was hospitalized for nearly a month. The group folded — but the lesson endured.
“I hadn’t set up strong boundaries. I ended up wearing a lot of that despair — and it got to be too much.”
The experience forced Mike to pause and rebuild. Over the next six years, he focused on self-care, boundaries, and understanding his own limits. Then, the calls started again — men asking if Man-Up Support still existed.
He realized the need was still there. The isolation, the silence, the stigma — unchanged. With new strength and perspective, he revived the group as Man-Up Support 2.0.
And this time, he was ready. “There are still so many great people out there willing to help,” he says, smiling.
Counseling as Strength, Not Weakness
Today, Man-Up 2.0 operates with one clear message: moving forward matters more than looking back.
While members are free to share what led to their divorces, Mike keeps discussions focused on healing and growth, not guilt or regret.
“Guilt can eat a man alive,” he says. “If you’re looking in the rear-view mirror, you’re not looking through the windshield at what’s to come.”
The group’s pillars are simple yet powerful:
Own your mistakes. Everyone falters — what matters is learning and growing.
Take ownership. Recognize your part in what went wrong so you can rebuild stronger.
Ease up on self-criticism. “Each one of us is our own harshest critic,” Mike reminds them.
The Core Push: Professional Help
Mike champions therapy as a symbol of strength, not weakness. Too many men, he says, avoid help out of shame. Man-Up Support flips that narrative — bringing in psychologists, counselors, and other professionals to teach healthy coping and self-management.
He also invites lawyers, gym owners, yoga instructors, and nutritionists to present practical tools for recovery. Whether it’s finding a weekend meal plan for kids or discovering an outlet for anger, Man-Up helps men connect the dots between mental, emotional, and physical health.
Legal Realities and “Trending Upwards”
One of the hardest realities Mike discusses with men is legal help. Many avoid hiring a lawyer because it feels like admitting the relationship is truly over. Yet, avoiding it often drags out emotional strain.
Mike reframes the narrative: protecting yourself and your children isn’t giving up — it’s taking responsibility. Still, he stresses that a lawyer isn’t always the first or only step.
Collaboration Over Conflict
Alternatives like mediation and divorce coaching can reduce confrontation and cost. Divorce coaches, for example, guide men through emotional triggers, help prepare for lawyer meetings, and teach communication skills that make tough conversations manageable.
Mike reminds his group that everyone involved is hurting — both sides are aggrieved. Recognizing that truth, he says, makes the process less bitter and sets the stage for a healthier future.
Taking the High Road
“The high road sucks,” Mike admits, “but it’s the best road.” Revenge or retaliation only deepens the pain, especially for children caught in the crossfire. Emotional maturity and professional support, he says, are the best investments men can make.
His guiding principle is simple but powerful: “Keep trending upwards.”
If you’re learning from mistakes and moving forward, you’re already winning.
In the end, ManUp Support isn’t just a group — it’s a movement redefining what real strength looks like. It’s not about suppressing pain or pretending to be invincible; it’s about standing up, speaking out, and choosing to heal. Through his own vulnerability, Mike Thibeau has built a space where men can finally drop the armor, face their truths, and rise again — stronger, wiser, and surrounded by a brotherhood that reminds them they’re not alone on this road to rebuilding.
Meet the Author - Mike Thibeau
I am a divorced dad and community leader who facilitates the Man-Up Support Group, a peer support initiative for men navigating the challenges of divorce, separation, child custody issues, and the mental health struggles that often come with them. I started the group during my own divorce journey, after realizing there was a lack of accessible support and real answers for men going through similar life changes. What began as a personal response to my own experience has grown into a safe, judgment-free space where men can connect, share, and find guidance as they rebuild their lives.
Group Details:
🗓 When: Second Tuesday of each month
📍Where: Sheldon Kennedy Centre of Excellence,
Red Deer Polytechnic Campus
💲Cost: Free
🌐 Website: man-upsupport.ca
📘 Facebook: ManUp Support Group 2.0
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
