I’m Not Broken, I Am Becoming
By Connie Kobylko
There have been moments in my life when I felt like everything was falling apart—when the world I knew dissolved right before my eyes. Divorce, loss, changes in health, financial strain, the uncertainty of starting over—each of these life shifts arrived like uninvited guests. They walked in through my front door and took residence. Every one of them carried its own pain and discomfort, but also, over time, its own quiet wisdom.
For a long time, I believed those changes had broken me. I would stand in front of the mirror and see a woman I barely recognized—her smile practiced, her eyes weary, her heart carrying a heaviness that words couldn’t touch. On the outside, she looked fine. Inside, she was just trying to find her footing—or tearing apart at the seams.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned: I wasn’t broken. I was becoming.
Life has a way of shaking us awake. It tests our patience, our faith, and our strength. It throws storms our way not to punish us, but to remind us that we already have what it takes to weather them. Every challenge holds a hidden blessing, even if we can’t see it in the moment.
The woman I am today is not the woman I was yesterday, and she won’t be the same woman I am tomorrow. We are always evolving—learning, unlearning, growing. The beauty lies not in arriving somewhere perfect, but in celebrating the journey itself.
Sometimes, growth comes disguised as loss. Sometimes, the endings we resist are simply doorways to something far greater than we imagined.
There was a time I looked at the woman in the mirror and didn’t recognize her. She appeared polished, even composed, but inside I felt lost, cracked open, and scared. Then one day, I looked deeper—past the fatigue, past the doubts, past the layers of expectation—and I caught a flicker of something familiar. It was the truest essence of me. Not the person everyone wanted me to be, not the woman holding it all together, but the one who was brave enough to feel it all. That tiny spark whispered: You’re still here. You’re still her.
That was the moment I began to heal—not by fixing myself, but by remembering myself.
In my hardest seasons, I learned that healing doesn’t show up in big, dramatic moments. It often begins quietly, one small, gentle step at a time.
Each evening, I started writing down three “glimmers”—little moments that made me smile or helped me feel better: the smell of coffee in the morning, sunlight through the kitchen window, a laugh shared with a friend, the warmth of my child’s hug.
At first, I struggled to think of more than one or two. But slowly, these simple acts of noticing became the seeds of gratitude. And gratitude changed everything.
When we write down our glimmers, the pen becomes a bridge between our head and our heart. Gratitude turns ordinary days into extraordinary ones. Over time, it retrains the mind to look for light—even in the shadows. I began to see the sunshine with new eyes.
When life feels uncertain, our first instinct is often to search for answers outside ourselves. We look for advice, validation, or a plan. But true healing begins when we start trusting our own inner compass.
For me, that meant quieting the noise—the doubts, the what-ifs, the fear—and listening to the softer voice within. The one that whispers, You already know.
Trusting my intuition has led me to opportunities, connections, and even small miracles that logic alone could never have orchestrated. I learned to ask for what I wanted—and the Universe often responded with something even better.
As a single mom, I once stopped at a flower shop and asked if they had a single discarded bloom I could take home—just something to brighten my day. I didn’t have the money to buy flowers; every penny went to providing for my daughters. The owner smiled and handed me a tiny posy of flowers, gifted freely. That small act of kindness became a reminder that beauty still exists, that the world can be generous when we open ourselves to receive.
Gratitude became my roots, but intention became my compass.
There came a point when I realized I still had dreams tucked away—the ones I had shelved for “someday.” But “someday” never comes unless we choose it. So, I started writing them down—not just the goals and dreams themselves, but how they would feel when they became real.
That’s when synchronicities began to appear—a conversation, an opportunity, a door opening just when I needed it most. My miracles! Joy and gratitude shift our energy, and our energy shapes what we attract.
When we align with gratitude and joy, we attract more of what we truly desire.
I spent many years trying to be everything to everyone: the strong one, the dependable one, the fixer, and the peacemaker. But perfection is a heavy mask to wear.
Now, I remind myself daily: I don’t need to be perfect. I just need to be present.
I am allowed to make mistakes. I am allowed to start over. I am allowed to grow at my own pace. Life doesn’t always go as planned—and that’s okay. Sometimes the detour is the destination.
Inside each of us lives the little child who still believes in magic—the one who dreams endlessly, laughs loudly, and loves without hesitation.
Never give up on that child. She carries your dreams, your spark, your fire. When you reconnect with her, you reconnect with your joy.
When we nurture that part of ourselves, we remember that life isn’t just something to get through—it’s something to move with, to feel, and to enjoy along the way.
I’ve come to see that the journey of becoming never really ends. It’s not about fixing ourselves or finding some ultimate version of who we’re supposed to be. It’s about shedding what no longer fits—the old stories, the self-doubt, the fear—and making space for who we’re meant to become next.
Some days, becoming looks like courage. Other days, it looks like rest. But every single day, it’s progress.
So, if you’re reading this and life feels heavy right now, please know: you are not broken. You are becoming.
You are being shaped, strengthened, and softened in ways that will one day make perfect sense.
You are already the masterpiece in motion.
Pause today. Look at yourself in the mirror—really look. See the strength that carried you here, the light that still flickers behind your eyes. Whisper to yourself, “I am becoming more of who I truly am each day.”
Celebrate every step. Honour your resilience. Let gratitude weave its way through your day—in small, everyday ways that make your heart feel a little lighter.
And trust that your story is still unfolding—beautifully, bravely, and exactly as it’s meant to.
I’m celebrating you and your becoming.
“Through every storm, we are being remade.
Not broken—becoming.
Becoming who we were always meant to be.”
— Connie Kobylko
This article was written by Connie Kobylko and featured in the Winter 2025 issue of Life Changes & Divorce Magazine Canada.
Meet the Author - Connie Kobylko
Connie Kobylko is a Joy Facilitator and Life Celebrant dedicated to helping others navigate life’s milestones, losses, and new beginnings with compassion, authenticity, and purpose. A 2024 Womanition “Supearlative” Award recipient, she creates spaces for healing, meaningful connection, and personal growth. Guided by deep empathy and a belief in celebrating every chapter, Connie inspires others to rediscover their spark and step fully into their light.
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
