#79 Abuse & Your Finances
With Shaelene McInnis
What do women need to know about protecting themselves and their finances when dealing with abuse.
My guest, Shaelene McInnis, left the corporate world in 2008 to start her own business. She is the trusted advisor to thousands of businesses in Ontario. Shaelene and her team of fabulous employees have been helping business owners thrive through a systematic process of education and practical advice. She is also a published author with many books about mistakes that businesses make in different industries and women going through or thinking of divorce. The divorce book was written because of COVID. Spouses were separating or divorcing leaving many women unprepared for their financial future. She advocates for financial equality in any relationship and basic financial knowledge in everyone’s life.
~~~
For more information, you can find Shaelene online:
Website: www.booksinline.ca
and Ontario Wellness Network.com
Email: info@booksinline.ca
Facebook: BooksInLineBookkeeping
Instagram: booksinline
LinkedIn: Shaelene McInnis
Twitter: @bil_bookkeeping
Shaelene has a private divorce group on Facebook
Watch the video of this interview on our YouTube channel.
_____________________________
If you are experiencing abuse, or want to support someone who is, there are many resources available for you.
Find help:
The Today Centre (Edmonton)
Women on Wings (Calgary)
Women's Shelters (Alberta)
Women's Shelters (Canada)
You Are the Change
Contribute your voice to the "Hope in Hell" compilation book.
Get your copy of the FREE eBook "YOU are the CHANGE".
Join the "Hope in Hell" online support group for women.
_____________________________
Your opinion matters! Tell me how I can help you.
PLUS! You can WIN one of multiple draws for assorted gift cards!
To enter, take my quick survey & share your feedback.
_____________________________
Join us in our twice-monthly online Divorce Resource Groups.
Subscribe to our podcast so you'll be notified when new episodes drop.
Connect with us @ lifechangesmag.com where you'll find:
magazines (past & present) as downloadable PDFs
events schedule & links
team contacts, interviews, articles
how you can join our team
You are not alone. We want to help :)
_____________________________
Please refer to our Terms of Service available at this link: lifechangesmag.com/terms-of-service
Transcript:
Deena Kordt 0:04
Hey, welcome to Life Changes Channel. I'm Deena Kordt. I'm the host of this podcast Life Changes Channel, as well, the publisher of Divorce Magazine Canada, and Life Changes Magazine. Now that is a quarterly online digital magazine that you can read by just going online, and following the link in our show notes. It comes out four times a year and there also are newsletters on the other months when there isn't a new magazine, you will find out all the news about our events or podcast episodes. Any specials or offers from our team of experts and professionals who can help you through your journey of divorce, separation or some other type of major life change that you might be facing.
There are a ton of resources, check out the link in the show notes as well for our website, divorcemagazinecanada.com. There's a blog, there are links to articles. There's all our podcast episodes as well as events, which include every two weeks we have online divorce resource groups. So there's a support groups where you can meet our experts. Sometimes we have a keynote speaker that addresses a certain topic. At the very least you won't feel alone. And you will know that there are others who are experiencing this who care and want to help you. We do have a lot of very helpful resources.
Now on today's show, I am so honored to bring to you Shaelene McInnis, she is an author. She's written this book, "Self Defense for Women", the divorce self defense for women, she's written several books, and they are so very informative and supportive. And she is actually an accountant that realize there's a gap in the knowledge that people have around divorce, especially for women, she writes, she has American versions, she has Canadian versions of her book, she has a podcast, she has so many resources to help support you and encourage you through your divorce or separation or some other type of a upheaval in your life where you aren't really sure how to deal with that. So make sure you check out her community. It is phenomenal. Let's meet Shaelene now.
Hello, Shaelene. I am really, really excited to have you on the show today. Now for my audience, you are in for a treat. Shaelene McInnis is an author. She's a podcaster. She's a coach and speaker. But that's not where she started. She started with her own accounting business. And how did she get from this point to that point and doing what she's doing today. She's written a book that is phenomenal. And we will tell you more about that. I'll have her explain all of the value that's in this book for for women out there. Now. Shaelene. Please tell us more about you. Tell us about your why how did you get from this point to that point. And then I really I want to hear more about all that you're doing with your work now to support women. It's, we have a lot in common. So I just I'm so grateful for this connection. It
Shaelene McInnis 3:22
is amazing how much we have in common. It was funny, we were talking about that. So it's it was amazing to me how things come full circle. I had started when I was in university, I wrote my fourth year thesis paper on wife abuse in the criminal justice system. This was my thesis paper I was very passionate about. But once I left university, and I started in the world of corporate work and as an operations manager for years and years and years. And eventually I decided that I wanted to have children but I didn't want to stay in the corporate world and have children. It just that was not going to work for me. So I decided I was going to start my own business did not know what I was going to do at the time, but I'd been doing friends and family's income taxes for years. So I thought to myself, maybe I'll start a little accounting business out of the basement. You know, my husband built me a little office and I started this accounting business and within two weeks I hired my first employee and this was 13 years ago. 11-12 years ago, 12 years ago, I hired my first employee after two weeks, she's still working with me. And two weeks later, I hired my second employee, she's still working with me and now we've got eight employees all together. We have a great accounting company.
We help people with taxes, audits and a CRA issues. bookkeeping, making sure that people understand how to run a business and to make money to make a living. So as we're doing this done, of course, incomes COVID And when when we got hit with COVID It was so fast when everything had to flip and turn quickly, quickly, quickly. So as we were going through COVID, and people were working from home and I started getting calls, because we have over 1000 clients, we started getting calls from some of our current clients, who, I guess with the lockdowns had found that they were in relationships that they were really realizing were unhealthy. They were stuck in the house with someone who was an alcoholic, or who verbally abused them, emotionally abused them physically assaulted them. There was also a lot COVID I think, hit women differently than men, many women had to give up their jobs, because perhaps they made less than their spouse, and they needed to stay home with the kids, because who's gonna stay home and, and make sure the kids were getting their education, or they had to switch to part time, single moms, it hit them terribly, because they're single moms trying to make money they they have kids to raise or now at home. And so they have to give up their work to do this.
So I found that financially, women were really being dinged harder than anyone else. And then we started getting calls, I was getting calls. And it was up to one to three a week from different women who had been recommended to contact books in line, by their mediators, by lawyers, by friends, by their mothers, who were saying you need to call these people and they'll help you. I had women calling to say I had one woman call me she said her mediator had sent her to us, I guess people started to hear about us. And she said, I was talking with my mediator. And she says that my husband and I we just split up few months ago, she says, but the mediator says I have to get my taxes done for the last five years. She says but my husband's been doing my taxes. And this was on a Friday. This is why it's so heavily on my head in my head. And I said to her, Do you have any children? She says, Yes, I have three small children. I gave up my job six years ago to raise our three kids. And and I said, I think most likely what has happened in this case is that your husband has been filing his taxes, saying that he's a single dad that you're separated and saying that the three children are with him. And he's been collecting the Canada child tax benefit. So she started to cry immediately. And I was like, This is why again, I remember I said let's I'll tell you what, let's speak again on Monday. Let's take a few days. And then we'll talk again on Monday and then we can come up with a plan.
So over the weekend, she spoke to her soon to be ex husband. And she said Is this what happened and what he told her was? And this happens all the time. I'd really like people to listen to this part. He told her Yes, I did claim that we were separated. But no, I didn't claim the kids. That's a lie. No, I didn't claim the kids. I did claim we were separated for the last five years. And you also have to say we were separated for the last five years, or we're going to get audited. This is a very common threat. Just so everyone knows. And the CRA knows about this threat, the Canada Revenue Agency, and down in the States, the IRS also knows about this threat. If you do this, you're gonna get audited. I'll call the IRS or I'll call the CRA. And I'll report you and you'll get audited. This is not true. This happens all the time. And these tax agencies are well aware of it. So when she called me to when we spoke on the Monday and she told me this, I said no. I said if you lie to the Canada Revenue Agency, and you say that you were separated when you were not because the child tax benefit is much higher for someone who's separated or single than than a married couple. Instead, if you go and you lie to the Canada Revenue Agency and say that you were actually separated when you weren't, that's fraud, and you can get in very big trouble for that. You're not going to get audited because you're telling the truth. So we did her taxes for those five years, where she was the primary caregiver. It was very clear because he was working had a job. She was home raising three children.
The child tax benefit was all supposed to be going to her. He was audited, and he had to repay it all back. So the end it was given to her five years worth of child tax benefit. So we kept seeing over and over again, different types of severe abuse women who needed to leave the relationship for so many different reasons. And a lot of it of course when the accounting for Field was for financial reasons, there's a ton of financial abuse. I had another case where a woman called me and she says, you know, my husband and I were, we're really having a hard time right now, it's not going well, he wants me to sign on for a home equity line of credit. That's an extra loan on top of your house mortgage for $400,000. And I said, Let me tell you what's going to happen if you sign on because it always takes the two signatures. If you sign on for this $400,000 HELOC home equity line of credit, he can take that whole $400,000 leave, go to Costa Rica if he wants, and you are responsible for paying that $400,000. So this is something that I'd really like to get across to everyone. If you're co signing with another person, understand that you are responsible for whatever that loan is, if it's a credit card, and they skip out, you are responsible for paying the entire credit card, any bank loan, I had a girl who wanted to leave her boyfriend.
So he had said, Can you sign for me to get this car because I need to work. But I've had a bankruptcy. So I can't get the loan, well, you signed for the loan. So she signed for the loan for the car, but only his new was on the car. So she's like, but I want to leave him I'm like, that's fine. But he'll if he stops paying that car loan, you have to pay it. So if you're going to sign on for someone else for their car or their truck, something else, make sure that your name is on there too. So you also own it. And then you have the option of selling it if you need to, for example. So there's so much of this different kinds of abuse, and we were getting so many calls. So we opened up once a week free Zoom meeting.
One week, it's during the day when we could string the evening, all cameras are off. Nobody's names, you could just put up any two initials you want, if you like completely 100% confidential, where you can ask any questions you want, you can ask them verbally, or you can type them in the chat. And we will answer them as best we can. And of course, we we really focus on especially financial, making sure your credit stays intact. People don't understand when they're going through divorce, your credit is everything. If you ever want to qualify afterwards, for a home for you and your kids, or just yourself, for a car for a truck for anything, you have to have good credit.
And on that note, if you're considering leaving a relationship, one of the things I recommend starting to do is if you have any joint debt, especially credit card debt, so you have a credit card, and it's $5,000, both your names are on it, start to pay it down, I suggest weekly by the way, even $20 a week, anything like that, then you call the credit card company loan will lower the limit, get that K down, keep lowering the limits so that your name is off of that credit card with that other person, do not sign anything. Anything unless you've had it checked out first, try to have your own credit card with your own name on it. And make sure that you have that so that you can use it if you need it and don't let anyone else have access to it. So credit is a very big deal. I've people trying to get a house and they can't because their credit is ruined. So you have to take responsibility for yourself financially. And that can be very frightening, especially for women, I find that they just oh, I'll just leave my finances to my spouse. Honestly, I think it's because women just don't have time. They're like, Oh my god, I'm working. I'm doing this with the kids. I'm doing this I'm running around. Okay, you do the taxes, you take care of the bills, you do this. Please keep on top of your own financial, you don't have to know everything inside out backwards. But at least have someone trustworthy. Someone like me, someone who knows what they're doing when it comes to taxes, someone who can issue go to the bank as their advice to make sure that your credit stays intact, that you're not signing up with someone else for something that you don't want to because then you're responsible for that loan, it's really important to understand just your basic finances.
Deena Kordt 14:18
That's incredible. Shaelene like, wow, there is so much value. And I would like to unpack it a little bit in spots that I wanted to mention even when you're renting your credit check even if you aren't buying your credit score is also very important. And having that credit card in your own name will become part of your exit plan your emergency plan that you at least have a way to pay for the necessities when you leave.
Shaelene McInnis 14:53
And to improve your credit keep your longest credit card open with just your name on it your luck because if you show I've had a credit card for the last 10 years, with this much on it that that's better than I've had this one credit card for six months, if you're choosing which credit card to keep your longest credit card gives you better credit.
Deena Kordt 15:13
Great tip. Amazing. Now in your book, you talk about far more than just the finances. Tell us more about your book.
Shaelene McInnis 15:23
So this is my book, I call it "Divorce Self Defense for Women", I have the Canadian version and the American version because the tax stuff is different. What I've done is in the first three chapters, I talk about actual real cases of people that I've spoke with and worked with and coached. And I talked about how to prepare if you're considering leaving a relationship, whether it's whether there's abuse, or not how to start to prepare to do that. Have, I always say, have a go bag, natural emergency, I need to grab this bag, and I need to run anything to do with your kids medication, a change of clothes, a credit card, prepaid cell phone and make sure it's charged. up, keep this in the trunk of your car, keep it at friend's house, keep it at your mom's house. Anything that you're going to need a spare set of house keeps. That's another thing you might need that spare set of house keys if you need to get in later on clothes for yourself. Financial Papers, grab what you can, as far as make sure you have copies of financial papers, your Social Insurance Number health cards.
So I talked about having that emergency kind of stuff that you need. But it goes more than that. So this is just your go bag as if you need to leave immediately and quickly. And you're not necessarily in a safe situation. So I talked about. So that's the first three chapters is what how to prepare. So if if it's a little bit safer, it's not that you're in dire straits. Also, if you're considering like this is not a healthy relationship, this is not going to work for me, I want you to start to take copies of bank statements, credit card statements, your mortgage statement, any kind of insurance investments, start to make sure that you have copies of everything and put it somewhere else, put it at your office, put it in a safety deposit box. In a separate bank, I always say open up a bank account. At a completely separate bank. I have one woman whose husband did not every single cent she had to account for so what she was doing was on when she went to get groceries she get $20 on every grocery bill, because he never really looked at the grid, he just say oh grocery bill for 298 or whatever it was. And she get $20 every time so that she then have that $20 to put in that other bank account. And that was the only way that she could do it.
So start to collect all of that important paperwork that you might need copies of the kids birth certificates, I would get those out of the house immediately. Other things, keepsakes, if you're in a room, you know even if you're in the nicest relationship, you think this would never happen. No one would ever hurt me. You never know what someone's going to do. When they realize you're actually going to leave them. You never know how someone's going to act. If you have keepsakes, pictures of your family pictures of your mother, something your mother gave you. Collectibles, family heirlooms. I have a woman who she had a baptismal dress from when she was a baby. She was baptized in a dress, she had it wrapped up and put away in the closet. She did not have children with her husband, she ended up leaving her husband, he shredded it into pieces. Because what he said to her was, if you're not going to have a child with me, no one else is going to be wearing this baptismal dress your child, someone else is not wearing this dress. So anything that has some kind of meaning to walk around your house, videotape everything. That's another one. Go around videotape everything that's in the house, get the pictures on the wall, anything that you have in the house. So you can say wait a minute, this was there. And if someone says no, no, it wasn't there. Yeah, it was I have it all on video.
You make sure you have everything on video, go through and see. See, what does this mean to me, I look around my house, for example, there's a picture of my mother that would go not that it's going to, but I'm just giving examples. So go around your house, and start to quietly take out those things that you think somehow could hurt you. So that's, that's if you're really thinking okay, now I need to get myself in a position where I'm going to be able to leave when I'm ready to leave. One of the things that you and I spoke about Dena, make sure you tell someone and you should definitely tell someone. It's not. There's nothing to be embarrassed about to say this relationship is not working, or I'm an abusive relationship. Or this person calls me stupid all the time. And I'm realizing now But that's not right. You know, you, people eventually get to the point where they're going, Wait a minute, this actually is not right. This especially happens with women. And I'm sure you know this as well do you know, when they have children? Once they have children, even if they're being abused, if it looks like someone might actually then hit their kids, their kids get start to grow up and get to a certain age. So many women go, oh, no, no, no, you know, if you're going to hit me, that's fine.
But nobody's touching my kids. And that can be your TSN turning point. I see that quite often. So in the one more thing about safety and security that I want to talk about that's very timely, is I have clients who have found on their cell phones, they found tracking apps. They're like, I don't know how he knows where I am all the time. And the other thing is the air tags for luggage. I have one woman who found an air tag her husband and put in the car seat, the baby car seat underneath. That's where she found it. No other woman knew she was being tracked. She went to the police, she said something's going on. My ex husband knows where I am all the time, they went through the car for her. And it was under her spare tire in the back and the trunk. They found the air tag. So if you think someone is following me, how do they always know where I am? Take your phone to somewhere that where they can check it for you one of those techie stores. Look through your car for air tag. It's it's amazing what can happen.
Now, unfortunately. And the other thing is OnStar. Do you know if OnStar is in your spouse's name and not yours, they won't turn it off. Like they will not turn off OnStar will refuse to turn off their tracking, you have to fight for it. Just say wait a minute, this is my car. Yeah, but it's all let you know the OnStar is under your husband's name. And they won't and you have to fight them for it's a very big deal right now. Because a lot of women are being tracked because they can't get the OnStar off their car. Or they won't stop the tracking. So I cover a lot of this in my book. And then I talk about different stories. If you're self employed, make sure you collect all your receipts. We have a lot of clients who are self employed, and their spouses have taken all their receipts, I had one gentleman who told his wife, you can have these receipts, but you come home first, you're not having any of them and they were banker's boxes worth of her work. She was gonna lose everything.
How would she do our taxes? She didn't have all this information. And he was like, No, you come home, and then you can have all this. That was what he said. I always say make sure you get your income taxes completed. And make sure it's by someone you trust. I've seen people say, oh, you know, make sure you just stay with the same tax person. No, that's not true. I have one woman who her husband's best friend was doing their taxes. No, no, you have someone else do your taxes, you take your taxes to another person who can do your taxes, you don't have to do them together. There's no reason you have to do them together at all. That's good advice. Yeah, that's good. And then again, you can talk to a credit specialist. There's lots of them out there. And lots of them actually work for free there with the government.
And then I finish off, you know, if you're going through divorce, decide, is it that you need a lawyer? Or do you need a mediator, if it's a situation with violence, I would go to a lawyer situation with narcissism, I would certainly go to a lawyer. Otherwise, if you think you can work things out, you can speak with a mediator and track everything, track the time you're spending with your kids, I have lots of situations where where they go to a mediator and the husbands like, well, I take care of the kids most of the time because they don't want to pay the the support. There's a huge red flag by the way, if your spouse is encouraging you to work more, right, because they want you to work more because you're making more money. If they're suddenly interested in taking the kids to the doctor's office, or the dentist office or dropping them off at school or daycare, and they never did before. That's a huge red flag that this person is trying to set themselves up so that if you split up, they don't want to pay you as much in support, even though you may have been the primary caregiver, the whole lives of these kids.
Another little thing, and I finish off the book with empowering yourself. You've managed to get out of a relationship. You find yourself again, we all get lost in a relationship and when you because you're used to being with another person. So how do you find yourself again, and I suggest things like working out, obviously speaking with a counselor, even a grief counselor, because that relationship is over. It's ended unexpectedly perhaps. So a grief counselor is a great person to speak to draw a vision board, join a gym where there's classes and other people and like minded people volunteer. So there's lots of ways that you can start to just come back to who you are. You're gonna be a different person, but it'll be you. And just healing, healing, healing self care. This is I'm saying this almost more for myself. I'm like, that's kind of for me, we all need to practice more self care, every single one of us, I find, especially women, we give and give and give and give. And it's like, whoa, you really have to take care of yourself and take time for yourself.
Deena Kordt 25:26
And love how all encompassing and that you've got information and a journey, as well. From how to prepare to get out how to get out what you need, what you should be considering. If you know what route to take, what are some things you maybe haven't even thought of? And all the way then to coming out healing and just discovering rediscovering reacquainting with yourself and taking care of yourself.
Shaelene McInnis 25:56
Exactly. It's a process. This is a process. It's it's, it's not something that happens in one day. It's like, okay, wait a minute, this might not be working for any reason. It might not even just be like I don't, we're not loving anymore. We've become friends over it could be any reason. And it's just a process of making sure Okay, let's just make sure all these, you know, these checkboxes are ticked and make sure that we remember all these things, because you don't want to be out afterwards and go, Oh, no, I forgot to collect all this paperwork about all of our investments. I have no idea what our investments are. I hear that all the times. So it's just a process of making sure that not that you're taking advantage of another person, you're just making sure that you're taking care of yourself. And often in the case of women, you're taking care of yourself and your kids. That's all you're not trying to hurt someone else or take advantage of someone else. You're just making sure you have all of the information.
Deena Kordt 26:50
Yes, so that justice is served and that you are now free and safe. And you have the means if it's available, yes, that you are. It's yours, like us, you are entitled to that that is that is yours. And actually, so your book Shaelene. Sounds like it should be about this thick. But it's not you've you've put this into an easily digestible reference. And
Shaelene McInnis 27:19
I've got checkmarks and here's lists so that you're remembered to do everything. This is probably like a good 10 bucks in one but it's a good one, too. It's a good one to start because it says at the end of the chapter, okay, did you do this, this this this, you know, open a separate bank account, do this, collect this paperwork, collect your keepsakes, if you're going to sell sell your house, perhaps you and your spouse have decided it's time to part ways and you're going to sell your home, you should each have your own realtor, you don't share a Realtor you each, even though the realtor will try to convince you that they can do the best for both of you. That is not true. It's very different. You should each have your own realtor who represents your interests, and this person's interests. Not one realtor for both. I actually have learned a lot about that recently on one on a podcast, I interviewed someone. And she was amazing. She explained exactly why you should have your own realtor. And I really do agree with that very much,
Deena Kordt 28:15
you definitely see those advantages. So you have also weekly confidential zoom meetings where people come in, and all of the links will be shared in the show notes for people to be able to just click right on that and check it out. Do they register ahead of time? How does that work? So
Shaelene McInnis 28:33
you can register ahead of time if you want, we include the Zoom link, we'll send you the Zoom link. Everything is confidential. We don't share anything with anyone. We will put it out so that people will see it and you can click on it and go ahead. If you're interested in the book, it's on Amazon. If you can't afford it, let us know we're not doing this to make money. I'm not doing this this is to help other people. This is genuine, like genuinely to help people so I've sent it out a lot of the shelters across Canada and the victim services they have tons of tons of my books just because it's it's very organized start here and let's go through this way. So I think it helps people when there may be you know, there's so much going on in your head when you're in a bad situation or you're in a relationship that you know is not going to last I think there's so much going on that sometimes it's nice to have something that's very okay step by step by step by step. Yes, because we don't miss anything chaos.
Deena Kordt 29:33
Yeah, survival mode in many cases. You also have a podcast and you also have a website. What can we find on the website when people click that?
Shaelene McInnis 29:43
Well, we have the books in line website. Most of my everything to do with divorce self defense you can find on Facebook, I also have you'll you'll get the email address for divorce, divorce, self defense for the American and the Canadian side of it and Anyone who would like any assistance in any way you can send us an email, send us a message, come, come onto our zoom meeting. Again, everything's confidential. We don't share anything with anyone, we want to make sure everyone is 100% protected. Fantastic.
Deena Kordt 30:12
Thank you for being here. Thank you for all that you're doing, though more than anything, for how you are helping women taking from your experiences to help and support others, and educate and encourage they aren't alone. And you're one of the many people who are out in the world ready to support them and and help them.
Shaelene McInnis 30:35
Now there's lots of us, I thank
Deena Kordt 30:37
you as well for shedding light on the financial abuse and giving us examples because many don't realize it until they do hear that type of an example.
Shaelene McInnis 30:47
So yeah, yeah, absolutely careful. Don't sign anything. What would thank you very much. Thank you. Go ahead. Well, what
Deena Kordt 30:57
would you like to leave the audience with? Do you have what's your go to if you had one thing that you could share with someone?
Shaelene McInnis 31:03
If I had one thing, I would first of all, honestly say don't sign anything. Even if someone is saying you have to sign this. My lawyer says you have to sign this. If you don't sign this, we're gonna get in trouble with the the IRS. Do not sign anything until you speak with someone that you trust, you know, not not a shared accountant or anything like that, or you know, your spouse, his brother's a lawyer? No, no, you do not sign any? Well, if you sign this, it'd be better for both of us. Because here's a perfect example. I have a gentleman who said, Well, you know, I want to I want to open this business. But I can't open this corporation, because I claim bankruptcy. But we and so his accountant actually said to his wife, well, we can just open the corporation up in your name.
This is a huge mistake, because now she was working full time and a full time student, both both. And he was running a corporation making over 200,000, which was all in her name, he left the relationship now she has to go through and prove through the taxes that it's not all of her income. And it's for two years $400,000 in income. And he's saying it's not his that it's hers, and she has to pay the taxes on 400,000. So do not agree to anything like that. Make sure that whoever you're speaking to is someone that you trust that you know, that someone that your mother or your best friend has advised you to speak to, not to someone else. Just don't sign anything because financial and financial, anything financial can carry on for years and years and years. And that's the last thing that you want. You don't want to deal with a tax agency for seven years. You don't want to have bad credit for seven years.
Just don't sign anything until you've spoken to someone if you're not sure. Send us a message, send us an email saying hey, you know what, this person has asked me to do this. Should I do this? We'll let you know. We'll let you know how to protect yourself. Always, no matter how great unhealthy relationship may seem. And I'm sure in most cases, they are very healthy. But always be aware that things can go wrong. Always be aware that things can go wrong. Make sure both names are on on a bank account. What if something you have a shared bank account? What if you don't I have many senior women who their husbands have passed away, but only the husband's name was on the account because that's the way it used to be. So they have a seven, eight week minimum sometimes three month stretch with no access to money. And this can break them because they have no access to money, they have a mortgage payment, groceries, everything else. But because their name wasn't on the bank account. They don't have that access until finally everything is settled with the estate in a yes, it all goes to his wife. So make sure that you are protected and make sure your name is on a joint bank account to pay the bills ready to pay your your mutual bills.
Deena Kordt 34:12
It isn't always top of mind, it's where am I going to live? How you know, how can I be safe? Are they eventually you know, you eventually get to the finance process. But you have so many assumptions that it's well it you think it's just going to be a certain way and then reality hits and you're in dire straits? Yes.
Shaelene McInnis 34:35
And it can happen very, very quickly can literally happen overnight. And you don't want to be in that situation. You always want to have some money, some access to some money somewhere in case you need it for a number of different reasons. So yes, make sure that you have some finance make sure you have some money set aside for yourself in case you need it for anything and this is for everyone. And don't sign anything until you know for sure.
Deena Kordt 34:59
Oh tell you,
Shaelene McInnis 35:00
thank you.
Deena Kordt 35:01
Thank you very much for being Deena. Thank
Shaelene McInnis 35:02
you so much for having me as a guest. Thank you.
Deena Kordt 35:05
My pleasure.
I hope you found that conversation insightful, encouraging. And also a reminder to all of us that what we see isn't always as it appears people are going through a lot of things in their lives. And we would want that compassion shared to us. And that is something that we can offer to others without judgment. Instead, be curious and, and reach out, reach in, figure out a way that you can make someone's day a little better and it might just start with a smile. I thank you very much for spending your time with me here today. And encourage you to please subscribe to the podcast, follow us on social media, check out our events, we have lots of ways that we can help you or someone that you love. Share this with a friend if there's someone that you know, could benefit from this. And hey, keep smilling that beautiful smile because the world really does need your sunshine.
It means a lot that you spend this time with us and meet our experts and professionals who can help you through whatever life changes you're facing. Please refer to our terms of service available on our website lifechangesmag.com The link is in the show notes. Our disclaimer, Divorce Magazine Canada, Life Changes Magazine and Channel and divorce resource groups are intended to educate and provide quality credible resource information. The contents should not be used as factual until consultation with the appropriate professionals for any guidance, Divorce Magazine Canada, Life Changes Magazine, Life Changes Channel as well as the divorce resource groups do not constitute endorsements for nor liability for any claims made in the presenting of this information.
