6 tips for helping children adjust to separation & divorce
By Michelle Garneau
Children have a lot to get used to when their parents separate and divorce. Here are some tips on how parents can work together, put their children first, and provide them with a stable and healthy upbringing.
1. Acknowledge the other parent.
Allow your child to have photos of the other parent in their bedroom in your home. It is important they don’t think they have to hide their feelings about the other parent from you. Your child may want to talk about what they have done with the other parent. When this comes up, try to engage with them about this so they feel comfortable.
2. Think about and plan for exchanges of the child.
Choose places that are best for the child such as your homes. Make the exchanges not too late in the day so they have time to settle down for bed and transition to being back with you. When your child first arrives at your home, don’t plan too much as this can be overwhelming for them.
3. Include extended family.
Encourage your child to have contact with their extended family on both sides. This will create a family unit experience for them. Help your child to be part of their birthdays or special occasions if you can.
4. Don’t overcompensate.
If you have less time with your child, don’t feel the need to fully pack your time with them or to buy them an excessive number of toys to compensate. Your child wants to spend time with you and that is often all they need.
5. Doing things together as a family.
If the situation between you and the other parent is amicable, you may consider doing something together with your child and the other parent. Maybe going to a park, school event or taking your child out for a meal on their birthday.
6. Being empathetic and expect your child will have emotions.
Many parents notice their child’s behavior is different when they first come back from the other parent’s home. In many cases, this is not the fault of the other parent and is simply the child adjusting from one environment to the other. You may see a range of emotions. Be empathetic and think about how your child might be feeling so you can respond in a caring and loving way.
Michelle M. Garneau
B.Sc., Registered Family Mediator | Garneau Mediation Services
📍 Office: 780.417.3119
📱 Cell: 780.499.9815
✉️ Email: michelle@garneaumediation.ca
🔗 Website: www.garneaumediation.ca
🏢 Address: 15-2016 Sherwood Drive, Sherwood Park, AB T8A 3X3
Garneau Mediation Services
📌 This article was originally published in Divorce Magazine Canada – Spring Issue 2025
🔗 Read the full issue here
Meet the Author - Michelle M. Garneau
Michelle Garneau, a Psychology/Biology graduate from the University of Alberta, has 17 years of experience in the workforce. She has developed communication, negotiation, and training skills through her extensive sales experience. Michelle pursued mediation training through the Alberta Arbitration and Mediation Society and has worked as a family mediator with Family Justice Services in Edmonton. She is a Board member with the Alberta Family Mediation Society and a member of various dispute resolution organizations. Michelle continues to pursue education in mediation and dispute resolution.
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
