Authority Magazine Feature: How Deena Kordt Builds Resilience Through Positivity
✨ Featured in Authority Magazine!
We’re excited to share that Deena Kordt, founder of Life Changes & Divorce, was recently interviewed by Authority Magazine for her unique perspective on building resilience and maintaining a positive mindset through life transitions like divorce.
In this heartfelt and empowering feature, Deena shares actionable advice, personal reflections, and her mission to help women thrive during life’s toughest moments.
Scroll down to read the full article, originally published by Authority Magazine — now shared here to inspire you!
Notice Your Response. When you feel stressed, pause and notice what you’re feeling. Where do you feel the response in your body? For example, does your throat feel tight and your neck tense? Is your heart racing? What are your emotions doing? Are you holding back tears or feel like yelling? When you pause, you interrupt your old pattern.
In today’s fast-paced world, stress is an inevitable part of life. However, the way we manage and respond to stress can make a significant difference in our overall well-being. Developing a positive mindset can be a powerful tool in building resilience against stress, allowing individuals to navigate challenges more effectively and maintain better mental and physical health. How can we cultivate this positive mindset and use it to bolster our stress resilience? In this interview series, we are talking to psychologists, coaches, mental health experts, authors, about “How To Build Stress Resilience with a Positive Mindset”. As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Deena Kordt.
As a Recovering Invisible Woman, Podcaster, Publisher and Author, Deena Kordt, draws from her personal journey to passionately empower others with powerful mindset shifts.
Through her insightful books, compelling content and engaging presentations, Deena communicates a deep sense of caring, with a purpose to instill hope and create connections so people never feel alone in their life struggles.
As owner and publisher of Life Changes and Divorce Magazine and host of the Life Changes Channel Podcast, her mission is to inspire and connect caring humans to see and value each other with curiosity and compassion.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your backstory?
I’d love to Shawna! You might see me today as a confident person who is speaking up and creating change, but it hasn’t always been
that way. I describe myself as a “Recovering Invisible Woman”. I used to believe invisibility was my safest option, not because I wanted to disappear, but because survival demanded it. Today I use that story to help others build strength, resilience and a mindset that transforms stress into power.
Invisibility is often considered a superpower. It ranks right up there with x-ray vision and the ability to fly, but for me it was something I needed as a survival mechanism. It was my way of coping with the environment I grew up in as a child in isolated rural southern Saskatchewan, in a family that was very strict, conservative and religious, and I went right from that into over 30 years of domestic abuse.
In that situation, again, it was reinforced to play small, be quiet, be invisible and I might be safer. I used invisibility as a way to try and protect myself and my children. Needing to be hyper-vigilant and watch for any evidence of triggering the abuse, while also keeping the life I was living invisible to the outside world.
That was not a healthy environment — for myself, or for my children. It was laden with stress, anxiety and uncertainty.
My history of abuse and divorce has brought me to the work that I’m doing today — to bring more awareness to the epidemic of domestic abuse, domestic violence. Many still believe that abuse only means physical violence, but even the legal definition of intimate partner violence now includes emotional, verbal, financial and other non-physical forms of abuse, which often escalate to physical harm and homicide.
I am very passionate about creating caring communities that protect, embrace and encourage those who are affected by significant life changes, like divorce and abuse; situations that are wrought with fear, embarrassment and stress.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to your particular career path?
Thank you for asking Shawna. For me the universe had a plan — one I didn’t see coming, but that changed everything. What I do now is a perfect example of that.
At a time when I was feeling a little lost in the direction and purpose of my life, having left a position with a non-profit that had drained my energy, confidence and trust, I met a fascinating woman. She had founded a magazine to connect people with empowering information from experts who could guide them through divorce. Within weeks of meeting her I had found my next path and purpose. I accepted her invitation to buy the business and am now growing it into a supportive community.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority in the stress and wellness fields? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to the world of wellness?
Coming from a nursing background, wellness has always intrigued me — how to define, attain and maintain it. As the world has become more receptive to conversations about mental wellness and recognizing how physical and mental health are so tightly interconnected, I’ve found it fascinating to explore wellness with more openness. As an authority in these fields Shawna, you’ve contributed as well! Through this learning, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of the power we all have to use our minds to improve not only our health, but all areas of our lives.
Stress is a natural part of our lives. It can be harmful or motivating — we have a choice. We tend to think of it as always being a negative force that we have to accept and deal with. But it’s when I started paying attention to my physical reactions in difficult or “stressful” situations, that I began to realize I had power in these situations. I started noticing what my thoughts were during those times and connecting that with my physical reactions. I realized I could choose how I reacted. It didn’t change the situation, but it changed me. My mindset shifted, my body responded differently and that often changed the outcome too.
It took a lot of practice to change those reactions that were deeply ingrained and conditioned from all the years of abuse and trauma, but as I saw the results, I was encouraged to continue. I dove into learning more about using the power of mindset, of manifesting with intention, of healing and growth through awareness, guided by mentors, coaches and others willing to share their stories. I believe this gives me a unique way to contribute to the world of wellness as someone who’s experienced significant loss, abuse and stress. This involves lifelong learning and every day is still a work in progress.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
Great question Shawna! The first one that comes to mind is “Be Still. And Know.”
I have always found that quote to be very calming and grounding. It has worked in many instances in my life. When I’m overwhelmed, rushing and stressed, I remind myself of these words. They bring me to a pause, a moment to breathe and to ‘know’ that I have a powerful ally in the co-creation of my life. I am not alone. There is infinite time, support and resources available to me. And I recognize that power of choice that is mine to use in those moments. This brings down my stress level and helps me focus on what is most important at that time. I think it’ll be my next tattoo!
A time I remember this was especially helpful was when I discovered some shocking facts about my abuser. What I learned shook my world, shattered my trust, tore apart my faith and changed my future. Through that incredibly stressful time, this quote became my mantra. I would pause amid panic with the thought “Be Still. And Know.”r This would calm me. Each word is so powerful! “Be” meant for me to just ‘be’ in that moment. Not ‘do’, but ‘be’. “Still” was to calm, breathe and not rush. “And” meant ‘this isn’t all”. “Know” meant to me that I knew, with a deep knowing, in my heart and soul, that I was not alone, that I had the strength and power within myself to deal with whatever I was facing. And that was enough.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Let’s start at the very beginning so that we are all on the same page. What is the definition of stress? How is it different than anxiety or overwhelm?
These are often used interchangeably, for good reason, as we experience very similar reactions.
Negative stress, the one we tend to associate with the word ‘stress’ is typically our reaction to something that scares us or concerns us, when we feel threatened or pressured. We feel a physical and psychological reaction, often our emotions are also affected. We might feel a rush of adrenalin with butterflies in our stomach; restless, shaky, heart pounding and maybe even an urge to escape in a ‘fight or flight’ response.
Usually short-lived, this can become long-lasting, as chronic stress, if we aren’t able to manage our reactions or the external factors we’re reacting to.
On the other hand, positive stress, also known as “eustress”, motivates us to grow, adapt and thrive. It gives us energy to focus, meet challenges and reach our goals. I believe we can transform negative stress into positive eustress with the power of our mindset! I’ve experienced it myself and wish for others to discover this in themselves.
Anxiety and overwhelm are somewhat different but also can be transformed with a positive mindset and the power of choice.
Anxiety is more internal. It can be a persistent worry or fear that doesn’t necessarily have a clear cause. Overwhelm is felt when the demands on us feel like too much to handle, giving us a sensation of drowning.
Can you discuss some common misconceptions about stress and those misconceptions can hinder our ability to manage it effectively?
Stress has become a catchphrase for fatigue, overwhelm, anxiety, frustration, fear, tension and other negative ways people feel. Yet, however we define it, our awareness of the way our mind, body and emotions respond to stressors has opened conversations and disrupted negative stigmas, making education and support more accessible.
A common misconception is that negative stress is inevitable and unmanageable, an unfortunate fact of life that we must endure or try to avoid. As an inherent rebel, I naturally question and challenge what I consider misconceptions. And this one is high on my list. When you mix that with my eternal optimism and the superpower to find silver linings, it’s a potent combination for exploration and disrupting misconceptions!
If we accept this misconception, it doesn’t leave us with much hope for happiness, peace or harmony. We give up looking for solutions, for opportunities to choose a different response and create a successful outcome. We miss the chance to build resilience and a powerful positive mindset.
How does one’s environment play a role in stress management and maintaining a positive mindset? Can you provide examples?
Oh yes, I’d love to dig into this Shawna!
Environment can play a big role in our stress management and maintaining a positive mindset, but what may surprise many people is that regardless of our external environment, it’s our internal one we have full control of. We can be tempted to blame the external, unaware of, or too lazy to use, the options we have. We allow ourselves to wallow in a ‘poor me’ mentality. Give up. Identify as victims. And wait to retire or die so it will end. But there’s so much we’re missing if we accept this as reality!
Despite the various environments we find ourselves in, there still exists our ability to choose how we react. We may not always have the ability to choose where we are, like our work, for example, may need to be done at a certain place, our relationships may include some challenging personalities and our communities may have unsafe elements. We can’t always control where we are — but we can always choose how we respond. That mindset shift may be new or uncomfortable at first, but it’s life changing.
Many times, if we’re truly honest with ourselves, we can choose to change our external environment. Have we asked if there’s another space where we can do our work? Could we suggest ways to resolve conflicts where we collaboratively find solutions? Can we speak up, get involved and create positive change in the world around us? As we pause to consider what we find stressful, we can recognize and challenge our acceptance of these are just ‘painful facts of life’ and choose to see them as opportunities to improve our lives, build resilience and lessen our stress.
There are numerous examples of people who’ve overcome unimaginable experiences in the most horrid environments by sheer willpower to choose a positive mindset. When we can’t change our environment, it’s inspiring to remember their examples. Think of holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, who said we can choose our attitude in any given circumstance. And Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years in prison, but chose forgiveness and reconciliation over bitterness. How about Malala Yousafzai, shot in the head for advocating for girls’ education chose to become a global force for empowerment when she could have chosen to give in to fear and hatred.
What role does physical health (e.g., exercise, diet, sleep) play in building stress resilience?
As any parent who has had time for a meal, shower and nap can tell you, they’ve got far more resilience, patience and energy and feel much less stress, than when they were hungry, frazzled and exhausted. And the same can be said for their kiddos! You’ve done a lot of work around this Shawna, suggesting simple strategies in your book to help people feel vibrant, alive, healthy and full of energy again!
Taking care of my physical health and making it a priority is something I often struggle with. Many days I push myself to the point of exhaustion and overwhelm. Skipping meals, staying at my desk for endless hours late into the night and ignoring opportunities to either delegate or say ‘no’ leave me depleted and yes, stressed.
When I neglect my body, managing stress becomes difficult. I’ve noticed that when I’m tired or hungry, I don’t have the emotional energy to respond calmly. My physical exhaustion drains my mental resilience and stress hits harder.
Again, it comes down to choice. When I pause to listen to my body, it’s pretty clear what it needs to operate at an optimal capacity. Feeding it nutritional food — regularly, giving it plenty of rest and accepting only those commitments that I can reasonably manage, are choices. We may need to challenge our old habits and patterns to take better care of our physical health, but it offers huge benefits for our mental health and ultimately our stress resilience.
Ok. Here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share “5 Ways to Build Stress Resilience with a Positive Mindset”? If you can, kindly share a story or example for each.
This is the best part Shawna! Let’s dive in.
1. Notice Your Response.
When you feel stressed, pause and notice what you’re feeling. Where do you feel the response in your body? For example, does your throat feel tight and your neck tense? Is your heart racing? What are your emotions doing? Are you holding back tears or feel like yelling? When you pause, you interrupt your old pattern.
Get curious, bringing your attention to your habitual response. Notice how it affects your mind, body and emotions. Congratulations! That’s a huge first step. Now, don’t think of these reactions as unavoidable. Let’s keep going.
2. Do You Like Your Response?
Are you used to reacting in certain ways, thinking there is no other way to feel stress? Ask yourself if it feels good to respond the way you did. I suspect the answer is ‘no’.
You may feel stuck in a cycle of stress and exhaustion — trapped by habits that once helped you survive. But there is a better way and that flicker of hope? It’s your invitation to change.
3. Consider Other Responses.
Is there someone you admire, even a fictional character from a book or movie, who handles stressful situations with ease, grace and maybe even a touch of humor? Channel that! Try it on for size. Practice when you’re not in an actual stressful moment. Imagine yourself in some challenging scenario, about to respond in your usual way, but instead you choose to be the hero of your own story.
What did that character do that you were impressed by? Besides looking great in blue tights? Did they take a breath, pause and smile, knowing they were in charge regardless of how it appeared? Did they laugh in the face of danger? Did they figure out a way to escape or negotiate? When you do even a bit of that — consider it a WIN! Congratulate yourself. This builds more positivity into your mindset. How creative can you get? Challenge yourself to find other ways to respond.
4. What Can You Change?
Get curiosity and recognize your freedom to choose, because you’re about to take this to the next level!
Where have you accepted being stuck in a stressful environment? Now, question whether you’re a) actually stuck or b) too scared or lazy to make a change or to see the good in it. Gratitude is a powerful ally in this process.
You might notice you’re not as stuck as you thought! There are options available that are only a decision away. The choice may be to speak up, ask for a change or for some help. The choice may be to make that change yourself because you have the power to do it on your own. Celebrate every small step — even the decision to change counts as progress.
Whether it’s an external environment change, like working in a different space or on a different project that inspires you, or an internal change, like taking good care of your body so you have the energy needed to choose calmer, more rational reactions, the good news is, you’ll see an immediate improvement in your ability to weather negative stress.
I should warn you: you will start to see the world through rose-colored glasses! That’s a side-effect of a positive mindset. Some people might feel unsure about the new, empowered version of you. That’s ok. Keep going and you’ll inspire them in time.
5. Look For Stress!
Sounds wild, right Shawna?! But I’ve lived it. I’ve felt the shift. And I know others can too. Remember eustress? The positive kind? It’s a secret tool for building and strengthening your resilience to its evil twin, stress. The best way to tap into its power is by using it in stressful situations. You’ll have to trust me in this.
Instead of seeing a challenge as a threat, you see it as an opportunity for learning, growth and adventure. For example, public speaking is one of the most common fears people have. How about starting a new job, training for a race, traveling alone, even dating? These are big opportunities to experience stress.
Transforming stress is all about shifting your perception of it with a positive mindset. The more you do that, the stronger your stress resilience gets. So, look for opportunities to experience it and notice how much more control you feel in situations you’ve chosen. Then, when an unexpected stressor presents itself, you’ll have new tools to manage it and the resilience to get through it. You’ll land on the other side with your positive mindset ready to face the next challenge.
Can you share an experience where you applied these stress resilience techniques in your own life? What was the outcome?
Let’s go back to where my story started, in the abusive environment I was in for most of my life. At the time, I didn’t understand that I was building resilience. I just thought I had to make the most of my situation. I kept my optimistic outlook, my positive mindset, despite being criticized for it. I looked for ways to change my environment, inside and out. These things helped but only partially and temporarily.
Once I realized that I had the power to make even bigger, braver choices, that was when the real changes started to happen. The stress resilience I’d been building helped me recover from trauma and rebuild my life. It fueled my curiosity and courage to learn and grow an even stronger positive mindset, to manifest with intention and manage stress better.
Being aware of my reactions, deliberately choosing different, more effective responses and changing my environments to foster a healthier way of experiencing potentially stressful situations, was part of my positive growth mindset. It’s one that builds resilience to stress. So now, when I look for opportunities to build my eustress muscle, it’s an exciting adventure.
I regularly look for ways to try something new, to risk failing for the sake of learning and to explore a different path. This has led to speaking on many stages, writing and publishing several books, hosting a podcast, traveling to new places, meeting interesting people, gaining new skills and becoming a happier person.
Of course there were some tough lessons along the way. From very serious accidents and broken friendships, to loss, unemployment and heartbreak. But I weathered these with the resilience of a positive mindset and came out the other side even stronger. I’ve come to accept that these experiences are important parts of my story, one that can inspire, encourage and empower others to keep trying, knowing they have that same strength inside them.
How can building a supportive community or network contribute to stress resilience and a positive mindset?
Shawna, I believe we are all here to support each other in one global community. We have opportunities every day to positively impact those around us. With social media, we have the world quite literally in the palm of our hands. I frequently connect with people on several different continents! And I bet you do too. Whether you drop a heart on someone’s post or DM them, that’s a connection and a chance to leave someone feeling seen and cared for.
It’s a personal mission of mine to encourage curious compassion for our fellow humans, without judgment. I make an effort to practice that every day wherever possible. I encourage people to pause and remember that everyone has a story you can’t see and they deserve compassion. Get curious about their stories. Get to know what scares them and what lights them up. Is there something in their environment you have the power to help them change so it’s less stressful? Can you set an example of a positive mindset and stress resilience that can encourage and inspire them?
Proactively, you can set yourself up for success in managing stress by surrounding yourself with people who have an optimistic, positive outlook on life and a healthy way of dealing with challenges. Their reactions will inspire you to practice doing the same. You can’t eliminate stress entirely, but you can choose how you react to it. When you witness others choosing effective healthy ways of facing tough things, you will recognize that same power of decision inside yourself.
Are there any specific tools or resources (books, apps, courses) you recommend for individuals looking to improve their stress resilience and mindset?
I’m a big fan of podcasts, so that’s my go-to. Many guests on my podcast have inspired me. I really like Brene Brown’s and Mel Robbins’ podcasts. Those ladies also have great books that I’ve found helpful when I’m struggling with stress. People like Viktor Frankl exemplify strength through adversity. If people in prison and concentration camps can build a mindset of resilience within extreme conditions, we can find that strength inside of us as well.
Rick Hanson, Dr. Gabor Mate and Kelly McGonigal have helpful books. The “Insight Timer” app has free access to meditations that help with stress. One of my all-time most favorite books to gift people is “The Book of Awesome” by Neil Pasricha. It’s a fun easy read that sees awesomeness everywhere and builds gratitude along the way. I also love a good laugh and find it definitely helps with a positive mindset and the ability to see humor in things. Whatever you find funny, get more of that! The endorphins are healthy for your whole being.
Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)
Shawna, this is the toughest question of the whole interview!
I have to admit that I’m not really someone who’s ever been star-struck, so famous celebrities aren’t on my wish list.
There are authors I admire and fascinating people I’m curious to meet and now that I think of it, one of those is Mel Robbins, who fits both those categories. Mel and I already spend a lot of time together! She frequently joins me for long drives, walks and workouts. I often quote her and share her messages with friends and family and they all love spending time with her too. I just realized you have the same last name! I don’t suppose you and Mel are cousins by any chance Shawna?
You know, Mel and I are both speakers, authors and podcasters, so I think we’d have fun comparing notes. Who knows? Maybe she’s a fan of my show too lol? I love her spunk, her humor and humility, her transparency and mostly her curiosity. Maybe we could walk her dogs and weed her garden. Those are things in common we both love. The more I think about this, the more excited I get about the conversations we would have. I want to talk to her about friendship and loss, about parenting and aging. It may have to span across both breakfast and lunch lol!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
That would be wonderful!
I’d love to connect with them.
They can find me at lifechangesmag.com where I’m building a caring and compassionately curious community. They’ll find the podcast, events, stories, resources and a place where they are never alone in their life changes.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Published in Authority Magazine
In-depth Interviews with Authorities in Business, Pop Culture, Wellness, Social Impact, and Tech. We use interviews to draw out stories that are both empowering and actionable.
Meet the Interviewer - Shawna Robins
Shawna Robins is an international best-selling author of two books — Powerful Sleep — Rest Deeply, Repair Your Brain and Restore Your Life, and Irresistibly Healthy — Simple Strategies to Feel Vibrant, Alive, Healthy and Full of Energy Again. Shawna is the founder and CEO of Third Spark, an online wellness hub for women over 40 who want to reignite their sleep, reset healthier habits and respark their lives. Shawna is a sleep expert, hormone health expert, and a National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBHWC). She has been featured on many podcasts including Dr. Mindy Pelz’s “The Resetter Podcast” and in Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, and The Huffington Post. A free download of her latest book can be found at www.thirdsparkhealth.com/powerful-sleep/ You can follow her on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
