Let Go. Move Forward.
Do you find certain things are preventing you from moving forward? Are you struggling with the past, triggered by events that put you in a tailspin? Imagine all that stored-up negative junk tumbling out of your mind, leaving only lightness behind.
At times, we are compelled to move forward regardless of our preferences. Before seeking support from others, rejuvenate your inner core and expand your self-secure center. Consider these eight (8) steps to guide you through the healing process:
1. Validate and sort out your feelings.
2. Accept your current circumstances.
3. Plan for eventual family and work situations.
4. Start (or maintain) a fitness routine 3-5 times/week.
5. Calm your mind for 15 minutes daily.
6. Develop a wide-ranging self-care routine.
7. Connect with your social network for support.
8. Make journaling a part of your weekly routine.
Step 1: Validate and sort out your feelings.
Negative emotions like grief, hate, depression, shame, anger, despair, fear, or apathy signal a need for action. If a traumatic event (separation, divorce, or death) happens to you, take time to grieve. Then, it's time to make changes for your new future.
Take responsibility for your own emotions and thoughts. Focus on yourself internally. Say, I am responsible for how I feel. Will this matter in six months or a year from now?
It's best not to take things personally, even if someone insults or diminishes you. Feeling angry is natural, but holding onto it can harm you. Take back your power, and don't let others control your emotions and health. Remember, only you can give their words power.
To cultivate a unique spiritual habit, replace negative emotions with positive ones. Stay emotionally neutral while focusing on healing. Consider Ask and It Will Be Given as a helpful resource.
https://www.abraham-hickslawofattraction.com/ask-and-it-is-given.html
Step 2: Accept your current circumstances.
It is normal to experience loss, and the mourning process cannot be rushed. One can tackle past events' lasting damaging effects by applying "The Law of Substitution." Affirming positive beliefs can be a helpful way to counter negative emotions. What-if questions exacerbate negative feelings like self-doubt, grief, or anger.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross established the five stages of grief. Acceptance is actually the final stage (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance). Yet, the sooner you tell yourself this is your new reality, the sooner you'll behave in ways that help you move forward.
Moving on from disappointment takes bravery. Tell yourself repeatedly: Today, I am healing and transforming myself. I am becoming a better, yet different, version of myself. I can live a joyful and healthy life. Putting your faith in one powerful idea can make a more significant difference than simply having a thousand good intentions.
One of the most well-known spiritual leaders in contemporary times is Eckhart Tolle, renowned for his book The Power of Now. He teaches about living in the present moment and overcoming fear on his widely visited website.
Step 3: Plan for eventual family and work situations.
What is contingency planning all about? It involves evaluating how changes affect the family unit emotionally, legally, or practically. Identify any problem areas and figure out who needs to know what.
Which contingencies should you focus on at the moment? Do you need to make arrangements for a funeral service? Is there a need to change your legal name or transfer the house to a different type of deed? What are the days you usually pick up your child from school? Have you established the terms for child or dog custody? Which parent's house will the children spend the holidays at?
It's helpful to write down a list of responsibilities, activities, chores, and deadlines. It's difficult to focus after a traumatic event, so limit your list to the following week (or a single day) to stay calm.
Many women like to color-code their lists based on categories, while others find prioritizing them makes the most sense. You must take this step seriously if you want a better night's rest. Visit the link below for the 8 best "list" apps in 2023:
https://zapier.com/blog/best-todo-list-apps/
Step 4: Start (or maintain) a fitness routine 3-5 times/week.
Women are overworked, overwhelmed, and often underpaid and underappreciated. Personal health should always be a top priority. Taking time for ourselves is essential before tackling our busy schedules or helping others. We set a positive example for our families by prioritizing our fitness needs.
If you enjoy walking, consider finding a friend or neighbor to join you for added accountability. You can tone your muscles by incorporating stretching programs and light weightlifting. For a list of the top 8 fitness apps, check out this link:
https://www.si.com/showcase/fitness/best-free-workout-apps
Step 5: Calm your mind for 15 minutes daily.
There is a tremendous amount of information on the Internet about relaxation techniques. Don't overanalyze it. Don't seek perfection. Select a method and try it out for a week or two. Try another one until you've experienced at least four to five different strategies.
This week, challenge yourself with a simple phrase made famous by Jose Silva during the 1960s. Whenever a negative thought arises, use the "Silva Mind Control Method" by saying "cancel, cancel" and be mindful of how words affect your emotions. Learn to attain a serene mental state by deep breathing and counting backward.
A helpful technique to ease the flight-or-flight response during tense situations is to perform The Tapping Solution promptly. Doing it in solitude or where others cannot observe your actions is recommended.
In fact, I often practice the tapping method when I feel agitated. I read Nick Ortner's book and listened to the supplemental set of CDs, which helped me reconcile a traumatic event in my life. A quick tapping regimen calms me down in under a minute.
https://www.thetappingsolution.com/blog/tapping-solution-app/
Step 6: Develop a wide-ranging self-care routine.
Taking care of our own well-being can be achieved in numerous ways. We all need relaxation and rejuvenation, such as spending time in nature, taking a long, soothing Epsom salt bath, or simply curling up with a good book in a cozy corner.
Practicing positive thinking habits that benefit our mental and physical health is also helpful. By saying positive affirmations like "I am strong," "I am clever," "I have a good heart," or "I am dynamic," we can replace negative emotions with more constructive ones.
Whether it's getting some fresh air, hanging out with loved ones, treating yourself to a massage, going on a trip, trying a new look, or indulging in your favorite gelato, there are plenty of ways to show ourselves some love. It can be tough to manage stress and anxiety, but calming activities help. Try meditation, yoga, puzzles, prayer, or even smiling more often. These activities can work wonders for your mental and spiritual well-being.
https://www.goodgoodgood.co/articles/self-care-apps
Step 7: Connect with your social network for support.
Social networking is a must for women. Connecting with friends can be achieved effortlessly through different channels such as text, email, and social media. However, women may face additional hurdles as they juggle responsibilities such as work, household chores, childcare, and attending to the needs of their extended family.
As these challenges can be overwhelming, plan a lunch or picnic with a friend who has had a similar experience. Read online posts or listen to a relevant podcast for insights, then discuss what you learned.
Get feedback from your two closest friends on the strategies you're implementing from the 8-step list in this blog. Trust your instincts after hearing them rather than asking for specific advice.
Step 8: Make journaling a part of your weekly routine.
Keeping a journal can help you process your emotions and plan your next steps. Journaling is an effective way to express negative feelings constructively and potentially find solutions to problems. Check out my specific blog about Journaling:
https://janaleebeck.net/home/f/the-art-of-journaling?blogcategory=Happiness
You now know the eight steps to heal and rejuvenate. This alone will lighten your emotional load. Now comes the hard part: taking care of yourself first.
Let Go. Move Forward.
Meet Janalee Beck, author.
Get her FREE ebook to Cultivate Self-Love, Joy & Intamacy here.
Special offer for our audience: Get a FREE pdf copy of her book “Moving Toward Intimacy: The Essential Ingredients to Passion & Pleasure” by contacting Janalee through her blog, and she will send you a free pdf copy or you can buy the book for $4.99 (USD) at this link:
Her journal “Moving Toward Intimacy: A Guided Journal for Women” is also half-price here!
Author's Note:
Take 90-180 days to establish a healthy routine and spend time with your thoughts before jumping into another relationship. Take the opportunity to read, relax, learn, and grow. Suppose you want to clarify your expectations of a future partner. In that case, please check out my latest journal, Moving Toward Intimacy: A Guided Journal for Women.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0962421243
Bring Courage to Your Life Decisions!
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.