The Poll that (almost) Nobody Answered
Sometimes the most important insights come not from what people say, but from what they don't.
Last month, I launched what became one of my quietest polls ever. Just two votes. Two.
I asked a simple question: "What's the most common pushback against human-first leadership?"
The options were straightforward:
"Hurts productivity"
"Keep work and life separate"
"That's HR's job, not mine"
"Other (comment below!)"
In my years of working with leaders on human-first approaches, I expected "hurts productivity" to dominate. After all, that's what we hear in boardrooms and strategy sessions. The relentless focus on metrics, efficiency, and bottom-line results.
But that's not what happened.
Instead, 50% chose "Keep work and life separate." The other 50% chose "Other", and that's where the real story began to unfold.
When Silence Speaks Louder Than Votes
The low response rate itself was data. In an era where LinkedIn polls routinely generate hundreds of votes and dozens of comments, getting just two votes on a leadership topic felt... significant.
Then Jennifer broke the silence with a comment that cut straight to the heart of it:
"I love this question. I will bite. What I've seen again and again is that resistance usually isn't about 'time' or 'productivity' at all, it's about fear. Fear of vulnerability, fear of losing authority, fear of blurring lines leaders were taught to keep rigid. The mindset shift? Human-first leadership isn't a 'soft' skill, it's a core business strategy. Trust builds performance. Care creates retention. Dignity drives results."
And there it was. The truth hiding beneath the surface of every leadership conversation I've ever had about putting people first.
It's not about time management or quarterly targets.
It's about fear.
The Fears We Don't Talk About
Fear #1: The Vulnerability Trap
Most leaders climbed the corporate ladder by projecting strength, certainty, and control. They learned to have all the answers, make quick decisions, and never let others see them sweat.
Human-first leadership asks them to do the opposite.
It asks them to say, "I don't know, but let's figure it out together." It requires them to acknowledge when they've made mistakes, to admit when they're struggling, and to show genuine care for their team's wellbeing, even when they're not sure how.
For a leader who spends years building a reputation as the person with all the answers, this feels like professional suicide.
I remember working with a VP who told me, "If I start asking my team how they're really doing, what happens when I can't fix their problems? What if they see that I'm just as confused as they are?"
This is the vulnerability trap: the belief that caring means having solutions, and that admitting uncertainty equals incompetence.
Fear #2: The Authority Paradox
There's a persistent myth in leadership circles that authority and empathy are inversely related. That the more you care, the less you can command respect.
This shows up in the language leaders use when they talk about human-first approaches:
"I don't want to be their friend, I want to be their boss."
"If I get too close, they won't take me seriously."
"Boundaries exist for a reason."
But here's what I've observed: the leaders who maintain the strongest authority are often the ones who show the most humanity. They set clear expectations and care deeply about their people. They hold others accountable and create psychological safety.
The fear of losing authority keeps leaders trapped in outdated command-and-control models that actually undermine their effectiveness.
Fear #3: The Modeling Gap
Perhaps the most heartbreaking fear I encounter is this one: "I don't know how to do this because no one ever showed me."
Jennifer touched on this in our exchange: "Many leaders haven't seen this modeled for them with those in authority above them."
Think about your own leadership journey. How many of your previous bosses regularly checked in on your wellbeing? How many asked about your career aspirations beyond the immediate role? How many showed genuine interest in you as a person?
For most leaders, the answer is "very few" or "none."
They're being asked to pioneer a leadership style they've never experienced. It's like asking someone to teach a language they've never heard spoken.
What "Keep Work and Life Separate" Really Means
When 50% of poll respondents chose "Keep work and life separate," they weren't just expressing a preference for boundaries. They were revealing a fundamental misunderstanding about what human-first leadership actually is.
Human-first leadership isn't about becoming your employees' therapist or best friend. It's not about eliminating all boundaries or turning every meeting into a feelings session.
It's about recognizing that humans bring their whole selves to work, their anxieties, their aspirations, their family situations, their health challenges, whether we acknowledge it or not.
The choice isn't whether to deal with the human side of your team members. The choice is whether to deal with it proactively and skillfully, or reactively and clumsily.
The Boundary Myth
The "keep work and life separate" response reveals three critical misconceptions:
Misconception #1: Caring Equals Overstepping
Many leaders believe that showing interest in their team's lives outside of work automatically means crossing professional boundaries. But there's a vast middle ground between cold indifference and inappropriate intimacy.
Asking "How are you doing?" and actually listening to the answer isn't overstepping. It's basic human decency.
Misconception #2: Emotions Belong at Home
This misconception assumes that humans can compartmentalize their emotional lives so completely that personal struggles never impact professional performance.
But we know this isn't true. The employee going through a divorce isn't suddenly immune to distraction during the workday. The team member dealing with a sick parent isn't magically focused during every meeting.
Human-first leaders don't try to solve these personal problems. They simply acknowledge them and adjust their expectations and support accordingly.
Misconception #3: Professional Means Impersonal
The most damaging misconception is that maintaining professionalism requires maintaining distance. This belief creates sterile work environments where people feel like interchangeable resources rather than valued individuals.
But professionalism and warmth aren't mutually exclusive. You can be deeply professional while still being deeply human.
The Real Cost of Fear-Based Leadership
While leaders wrestle with these fears, their teams pay the price. The cost of fear-based leadership shows up in ways that directly impact the bottom line:
Engagement Erosion
According to Gallup's most recent State of the Global Workplace report, only 23% of employees worldwide are engaged at work. The primary driver of disengagement? Poor management.
When leaders maintain rigid emotional distance, employees feel like numbers on a spreadsheet rather than people with unique contributions to make.
Innovation Stagnation
Innovation requires psychological safety, the confidence that you can speak up, take risks, and even fail without being punished or humiliated.
Fear-based leadership destroys psychological safety. When employees are worried about their leader's reaction, they stop sharing bold ideas, challenging assumptions, or admitting when something isn't working.
Retention Hemorrhaging
People don't leave jobs; they leave managers. And increasingly, they're leaving managers who fail to see them as whole humans.
The Great Resignation wasn't just about remote work or salary increases. It was about people refusing to accept leadership that treated them as expendable resources.
Performance Plateaus
Here's the paradox: the leaders most concerned about productivity are often the ones whose fears actively undermine it.
When team members feel unseen, unheard, and undervalued, they give the minimum effort required to avoid getting fired. They save their best ideas and highest energy for side projects, volunteer work, or companies that might appreciate them more.
The Science Behind Human-First Leadership
The fears driving resistance to human-first leadership aren't just unfounded, they're contradicted by decades of research in organizational psychology, neuroscience, and business performance.
The Neuroscience of Trust
Dr. Paul Zak's research at Claremont Graduate University shows that employees in high-trust companies experience:
74% less stress
106% more energy at work
50% higher productivity
13% fewer sick days
76% more engagement
29% more satisfaction with their lives
Trust isn't built through quarterly reviews and org chart hierarchies. It's built through consistent demonstrations of care, respect, and genuine interest in people's wellbeing.
The Psychology of Belonging
Google's Project Aristotle, which analyzed hundreds of teams to determine what makes them effective, found that psychological safety was the single most important factor. Teams with high psychological safety showed:
Higher levels of engagement and motivation
Increased likelihood to harness the power of diverse ideas
Better performance outcomes
Lower turnover rates
Psychological safety doesn't emerge from strict professional boundaries. It grows when team members feel seen, heard, and valued as individuals.
The Business Case for Care
Companies with highly engaged employees show:
23% higher profitability
18% higher productivity
12% better customer metrics
40% lower turnover
70% fewer safety incidents
These aren't soft metrics. They're hard business results that flow directly from human-first leadership approaches.
Breaking Through the Fear: A Framework for Change
Understanding the fears is the first step. The second step is developing practical strategies to move through them.
Start with Self-Awareness
Before you can lead others with greater humanity, you need to understand your own fears and resistance patterns.
Questions for reflection:
What specific aspects of human-first leadership feel most uncomfortable to me?
When have I seen vulnerability in leadership be effective? When have I seen it backfire?
What messages about leadership did I internalize early in my career?
How do I currently balance professional boundaries with personal connection?
Practice Graduated Vulnerability
You don't have to jump from corporate robot to emotional open book overnight. Start small:
Week 1: Share one professional challenge you're working through with your team
Week 2: Ask team members about their career aspirations beyond their current role
Week 3: Admit when you don't know something and ask for input
Week 4: Check in on how someone is doing during a difficult personal situation
Each small step builds your confidence and shows your team that it's safe to be human at work.
Redefine Professional Boundaries
Instead of thinking about boundaries as walls that separate work and personal life, think about them as guidelines that help you engage appropriately.
Helpful boundaries:
I care about your wellbeing and will adjust work expectations when you're dealing with personal challenges
I'm interested in your life outside work, but I won't pry into details you're not comfortable sharing
I want to support you, but I'm not your therapist or life coach
I'll share some of my own challenges and uncertainties, but our conversations will remain focused on work-related implications
Unhelpful boundaries:
Your personal life has no impact on your work performance
I don't want to know anything about you outside of your job function
Showing emotion at work is unprofessional
I have all the answers and don't need input from others
Develop Your Human-First Leadership Toolkit
Daily Practices:
Start meetings by checking in with people, not just projects
Ask "What do you need from me?" instead of just giving directions
Share your own learning moments and mistakes
Celebrate personal milestones alongside professional ones
Weekly Practices:
Have one-on-one conversations that go beyond task updates
Ask team members about their energy levels and workload sustainability
Acknowledge good work in specific, meaningful ways
Address conflicts or tensions before they escalate
Monthly Practices:
Discuss career development and growth opportunities
Seek feedback on your leadership approach
Evaluate team dynamics and psychological safety
Adjust expectations and processes based on what's working
Case Study: The Transformation of Marcus
Marcus was a senior director at a Fortune 500 company who embodied every fear we've discussed. He was brilliant, results-driven, and completely convinced that caring about his team's personal lives would undermine his authority and tank productivity.
His wake-up call came during the pandemic when three of his top performers quit within two months. Their exit interviews revealed a consistent theme: they felt like "just another resource" rather than valued team members.
Marcus's transformation didn't happen overnight, but it was systematic:
Phase 1: Awareness (Months 1-2) Marcus started paying attention to how he interacted with his team. He noticed he rarely made eye contact during virtual meetings, never asked follow-up questions when someone mentioned a personal situation, and consistently steered conversations back to tasks and deadlines.
Phase 2: Small Experiments (Months 3-4) He began starting team meetings with a brief check-in round. Nothing deep, just "How's everyone doing today?" But he actually listened to the answers and occasionally asked follow-up questions.
Phase 3: Vulnerable Leadership (Months 5-6) When Marcus was struggling with a strategic decision, instead of pretending he had it all figured out, he brought the challenge to his team. "I'm genuinely uncertain about the best path forward here. What perspectives am I missing?"
Phase 4: Systematic Change (Months 7-12) Marcus restructured his one-on-ones to include career development conversations, implemented regular team feedback sessions, and started sharing his own professional development goals with his team.
The Results:
Team engagement scores increased by 40%
Voluntary turnover dropped to near zero
His team's productivity metrics improved by 25%
Marcus received the highest leadership effectiveness rating in his annual review
Most importantly, Marcus discovered that showing humanity didn't diminish his authority, it enhanced it. His team respected him more, not less, when he showed them he was human too.
The Ripple Effect: When Leaders Lead with Humanity
The impact of human-first leadership extends far beyond immediate team dynamics. It creates ripple effects throughout organizations and industries.
Cultural Transformation
When senior leaders model human-first approaches, it gives permission for leaders at every level to do the same. The rigid, fear-based leadership cultures that have dominated corporate America for decades begin to shift.
Talent Magnetism
Companies known for human-first leadership become magnets for top talent. In a competitive job market, the companies that treat people like humans have a significant recruiting advantage.
Innovation Acceleration
Teams led by human-first leaders consistently produce more innovative solutions because team members feel safe to share wild ideas, challenge conventional thinking, and admit when something isn't working.
Customer Connection
There's a direct line between how leaders treat their teams and how teams treat customers. Human-first internal cultures create more authentic, caring customer experiences.
The Path Forward: Permission to Lead Differently
If you've read this far, you're probably resonating with the challenges and possibilities of human-first leadership. You might be feeling the pull to lead differently but also the weight of the fears we've explored.
Here's what I want you to know: You already have permission.
You don't need your CEO to announce a company-wide human-first leadership initiative. You don't need HR to create new policies about vulnerability in the workplace. You don't need a perfect roadmap or foolproof strategies.
You just need to start.
Start with one team member. Start with one conversation. Start with one moment of genuine curiosity about someone's experience.
The transformation Jennifer described in her comment, where human-first leadership becomes a core business strategy rather than a "soft" skill, begins with individual leaders making individual choices to see and treat their team members as whole humans.
Your Next Steps
This Week: Choose one team member and have a conversation that goes beyond their current projects. Ask about their career aspirations, their energy levels, or what kind of support would be most helpful right now.
This Month: Identify one fear that's been holding you back from leading with more humanity. Share that fear with a trusted colleague or mentor and ask for their perspective.
This Quarter: Evaluate your current leadership practices through a human-first lens. What's working well? What needs to change? What small experiments could you try?
This Year: Develop your own definition of human-first leadership and begin intentionally modeling it for other leaders in your organization.
The Quiet Revolution
The quiet poll that started this reflection revealed something profound: the biggest barriers to human-first leadership aren't operational or strategic. They're emotional and psychological.
The leaders who will thrive in the coming decades aren't the ones who master the latest productivity hack or organizational framework. They're the ones who learn to lead with both competence and compassion, strength and vulnerability, authority and empathy.
They're the ones who understand that the future of work is fundamentally about the future of how we treat each other.
The revolution won't be announced in a press release or launched in a town hall meeting. It will happen one conversation at a time, one relationship at a time, one leader at a time choosing to see the humans they have the privilege to lead.
Your team is waiting.
Your industry is waiting.
Your legacy is waiting.
The question isn't whether human-first leadership works, the research is clear that it does.
The question is whether you're ready to move through the fears that have been keeping you from leading the way you know you should.
What's one fear about human-first leadership that you're ready to face? Share in the comments, your courage might give someone else permission to lead differently too.
This article was written by Deena Kordt and featured in her ‘Human First’ LinkedIn Newsletter.
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Meet the Author - Deena Kordt
Deena Kordt, publisher of Life Changes & Divorce Magazine Canada, host of the Life Changes Channel podcast, is also an author & speaker from Southern Saskatchewan with a passion for inspiring personal growth and community support. Growing up on a farm and ranch, she developed strong small-town values and a deep sense of community. Deena has had a diverse career, including roles as a nurse, librarian, and reiki master, but her most cherished role is as a mother.
Deena's books, podcast, magazines, blog and presentations aim to help individuals reconnect with their inner strength and joy, encouraging them to embrace life with courage and resilience. She has overcome significant personal challenges, including the loss of two brothers and living in an abusive situation, which has fueled her mission to support others on their healing journeys.
Known for her adventurous spirit and rock 'n roll heart, Deena believes in the power of a supportive community of women. She invites you to join her in exploring life with curiosity and courage.
Awards and Recognition:
2023 Womanition Trail Blazer Award Nominee
2024 Soroptimist International Ruby Award Winner
2025 IOFP Top Women’s Leadership Coach & Publisher of the Year
Deena has been featured on several podcasts and magazines, co-hosts the “Shift Happens Show” and is working on her memoir.
Note: The author, compiler and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party due to these words coming from the author’s own opinion based on their experiences. This account is based on the author’s own personal experience. We assume no responsibility for errors or omissions in these articles.
